


The perfect imitation.

by Mystrothedefender



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Choking, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Sex Toys, Smut, dos it count as slow burn if they have sex in the first chapter?, its good ok, just..., sex worker batman
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2019-05-03 04:09:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 37,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14560548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystrothedefender/pseuds/Mystrothedefender
Summary: Batman tracks the Joker to a seedy motel, it seems he's expecting something.





	1. Chapter 1

Batman had been tracking Joker for months now. Whenever he got a lead it ended up dying on him, on a couple of occasions that had been literal. His newest lead was from a relatively trustworthy source, there was some cctv sightings which seemed to back it up.

But…

It didn’t feel right.

He looked the building in front of him up and down. A seedy motel on the outskirts of the narrows, one of the worst parts of Gotham. Joker rarely came to this area, he’d said in the past that it ‘gave him the willies’.

Joker had apparently been seen here multiple times over the past few weeks.

This was not his usual kind of place. He usually picked secluded areas. He hated background noise when he was working on anything. Several times while raiding a hideout Batman had found sets of ear plugs in Joker’s work desks. Abandoned industrial estates were more his thing. Though maybe that was the point. Maybe he had been counting on Batman to overlook the busy parts of town in his search for him.

It had certainly worked so far.

Batman had been searching for so long, he hardly remembered a time when Joker wasn’t on his mind. Thoughts of him followed Bruce like a loyal dog. Earlier that day as he’d been eating breakfast he’d found himself wondering ‘what does Joker eat for breakfast?’

It had to stop, or else Batman would become consumed and obsessed again and he couldn’t go through that again, looking through the old casefiles was too painful. Seeing all the people he’d hurt, he knew it wouldn’t make a difference, but still he’d do it.

He began to skirt the walls of the motel, looking into the rooms as he passed, hoping that he’d see Joker before Joker saw him. If he were here at all that was.

This was a long shot.

He probably wasn’t here.

He climbed the stairs and began to investigate the rooms on the upper floor.

His stomach sank slightly as he looked into one of the rooms and saw Joker. The man was laying on the bed in his underwear, staring right back at him.

A soft smile came to Joker’s face, and he lifted a hand to call Batman in.

Batman’s stomach twisted a little, and he found himself following Joker’s request.

Joker looked him up and down, his smile widening. “You’ve really gone all out,” he said happily. He glanced at the clock, “You’re a little early too, but that’s no matter,” he let out a weak chuckle, picking up the remote to turn off the tv.

He patted the bed next to him, looking Batman up and down. “I like the costume, better than I expected.”

“Joker,” Batman said quietly, not entirely sure what was going on. There was a weight in his chest, something stirring in him that he couldn’t quite place, similar to the adrenaline he usually felt while they were fighting.

Joker’s smile widened, “You’ve got the voice down too, that’s amazing.” He shifted on the bed, his fingers digging into the sheets, “I was told you were good but it seems like you’re really worth the money.”

“Money?” Batman said dumbly.

Joker nodded, “It’s over there,” he gestured to the windowsill, “You can count it out if you want, but rest assured I’m a trustworthy man,” he grinned.

Batman looked over at the wad of notes on the windowsill.

Thoughts began rushing through his mind, clogging it. He had no idea what to say or do.

“I don’t need the money,” he heard himself say, his gut twinging as he realised what he’d said.

Joker let out a soft laugh, the noise sending shivers up Batman’s spine. “First time for free, eh? That’s very Batman of you.”

“That’s because I am Batman,” he stated. His gut was clenching and twisting. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t say there wasn’t a part of him that wanted to play along.

But he couldn’t. This was the Joker. All the things he had done, all the people he’d hurt. Morally there was no way…

“Staying in character?” Joker growled, nibbling at his lips as he continued to study Batman, “I _really_ like that.” He patted the bed next to him, “Well, if you’re not going to take the money, you may as well come here so we can get started.”

Batman felt his breath leave him.

There was a tension between him and Joker, it had always been there. This would be the perfect opportunity for him to get it out of his system. Joker wouldn’t even really know it was him.

He took the few steps to the bed, it was only a couple of feet but it felt like a mile.

He sat on the bed stiffly, his breath shallow and his chest tight.

Joker smiled widely, looking down at Batman’s armour. “This is amazingly authentic,” he dragged his fingers across it, “How exactly do I take it off?”

“Let me,” Batman mumbled. He moved his hands to unclasp the bottom half of the suit, it fell away onto the floor in a few pieces.

Joker grinned at him, looking him up and down again, “I like the scars,” he reached out to touch one of them, “Very realistic.”

“They are real,” Batman stated.

He turned on the bed to look at Joker, studying him in a way he never had before. He swallowed hard, he’d never let himself think about Joker in this was before. He’d always tried to stop himself.

He reached out to take Joker by the wrist, holding him tight in his gloved hand and pinning him back onto the bed, he climbed over Joker and looked down at him for a moment.

Joker looked back up at him, smiling and tittering with laughter. Their eyes locked, and he quietened.

“Bats…” he said softly, the smile fading slightly on his face.

Batman tensed at the sudden change of his tone. He leant down to catch Joker’s lips in a kiss before he could say anything else.

He felt Joker kiss back, lifting his head to deepen the kiss, beginning to moan hungrily against Batman’s lips.

Batman felt his head begin to spin, Joker’s scarred lips meshing against his, his tongue dipping into Batman’s mouth, his moans reverberating through him, making him hard.

He pushed away the guilt in his mind and let pleasure fill him.

This was the only time he’d let himself lapse. It wouldn’t happen again. He had to enjoy this once.

Joker wrapped his spare arm around Batman’s neck, lifting his legs to Batman’s waist, pulling him into a more comfortable position over him.

Batman complied with Joker’s silent commands. He pressed down against him softly, grinding against Joker’s crotch.

The pressure of it pulled a long groan from Joker. He pulled out of the kiss, “Fuck me, Batman. I want you to fuck me.”

Batman gave a weak nod, Joker’s words causing a tug in his gut. He let go of Joker’s wrist and pulled away. Joker yelped as Batman ripped off his underwear.

“Yes,” Joker growled, “Come on, I’m all ready for you Bats, give me your dick, I’ve wanted it for-“

“Shut up,” Batman snapped, he moved his hand to Joker’s mouth, covering it with his gloved hand. “Don’t say another fucking word, Joker.”

Joker looked up and him, panting, he let out a soft hum and nodded under Batman’s hand.

Batman mimicked his nod before pulling his hand away. He pulled off his glove and moved his hand to Joker’s hole, pushing a finger in slowly.

Joker hissed and whined as a second of Batman’s fingers sank into him.

“I-I said I’m ready,” Joker said slowly, his voice pitched.

“I told you to shut up,” Batman growled, thrusting his fingers slowly.

He couldn’t stand to hear Joker’s voice right now, it made him feel guilty, it made him doubt himself.

Batman removed his fingers, letting out a soft hum, biting his lip and looking down at Joker again, studying the lines on his pale face. “Fuck…” he growled weakly as he shifted himself, pressing the tip of his dick against him.

Joker let out a low groan, his head tipping back and his lips twisting into a wide smile. “Yes,” he groaned. He tightened his legs around Batman’s hips, pulling him closer.

Batman growled, one hand moving to Joker’s hip and the other moving to take his wrist again, holding him tight. He thrust into him slowly, letting his eyes flutter shut for a moment as he focused on the sensation.

He’d thought about this before, he always tried not to, he told himself he couldn’t, he shouldn’t, it was wrong.

No matter what he told himself he still found himself thinking about it, imagining it.

The real thing was so much better.

He watched as Joker moved to touch himself. Panting and moaning as he stroked himself fast.

“Joker,” Batman heard himself say. His head was spinning watching him.

He jerked and moaned with each of Batman’s thrusts, his feet twitching.

“Batman,” Joker whimpered out. “Oh, fuck…” He whined loudly as Batman hit his prostate, writhing on the bed. “Oh, fuck, right there…”

Batman leant down, kissing at Joker again, thrusting faster into him. He sucked and bit at Joker’s neck, his nails digging against Joker’s skin.

He could feel Joker’s breath against his ear, hear every tiny noise from him. The sounds filled his mind, pushing out any doubt he had. His head was spinning, he could almost see the sounds Joker made.

He could feel Joker’s hand moving between them, precome slicking their skin.

He moaned loudly as he pounded into him harder, the squeaking springs of the bed echoed around the room. For a moment Batman found himself wishing that they were in his bed where the springs were quiet, where he could hear nothing but Joker’s pleasure and the sound of sex.

He raised himself up slightly, looking down at Joker. He moved a hand slowly to Joker’s face, gripping his chin as he studied him. Joker swallowed hard and stretched his neck slightly to move with Batman’s hand.

A deep blush covered him, he looked almost intoxicated. His eyes were rolled back in his head, his mouth lulled open, deep groans ebbing from his red lips.

Their eyes met again.

“Bats,” Joker said quietly, his voice a whine. His hand was moving faster on himself, his movements more desperate and juttered.

Batman let out a growl, he moved his hand to Joker’s knee, lifting it to reposition him, hooking Joker’s leg over his shoulder, hammering into him. Joker screamed loudly with his first thrust, tightening his legs around Batman’s torso and pulling himself close.

“Yes, Bats,” he growled out, gritting his teeth. He looked up at Batman, panting, “Come on, keep going, Bats, make me come, keep going.”

Batman moved his hand back to Joker’s face, wrapping his fingers around his neck and squeezing tight. “I told you to shut up,” he snapped. “Look at me.”

Joker looked up at him, his eyes wide, his mouth hanging open. His hand tugged at himself fast, he twitched and squirmed underneath Batman. A strained whimper managed to escape him as he came onto himself.

Batman let out another groan as he felt Joker’s hole squeeze at him.

Joker lifted his come covered hand to Batman’s, taking it weakly and tugging at it listlessly, a slight panic in his eyes.

The sight spurred Batman on, clouding his mind and taking him to his edge. He tightened his grip, gritting his teeth as he pounded Joker into the bed.

Batman moaned loudly, his head tipping forward as he felt himself empty into Joker. He felt all the tension in him spill out, his body convulsing.

He let out a soft pant, closing his eyes. He loosened his grip on Joker’s throat, the man panting and gasping as he pulled away.

Batman turned, leaving Joker coughing and wheezing on the bed, and he picked up his armour, beginning to clip it back onto himself.

“You know…” Joker croaked out, “I’ll probably be here again, uh, this time next week?”

Batman turned to look at him, he was laying on the bed, rubbing his throat.

“I don’t know about that,” he replied quietly.

Joker looked him up and down, “If you have the time.”

Batman grunted softly, turning to leave, closing the door behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

Batman stood outside Joker’s hotel room, breathing deeply, his eyes closed. His stomach was twisting and churning. He wasn’t sure if he should go in or not. He hadn’t planned on coming back, yet here he was.

For the past week he’d been thinking about coming back, trying to talk himself out of it. He’d told himself it’d just be that once. He couldn’t let this become a habit, it’d get messy fast.

He wasn’t sure why he’d come. He knew it was a bad idea.

His eyes jumped open at the sound of the door opening.

Joker stood before of him, barely dressed.

“Bats,” he cooed, leaning against the door frame. “You know I can see you from in there, there’s a crack in the curtains,” he looked him up and down, “I said already I don’t mind you turning up early.”

Batman’s mouth turned dry. He couldn’t back out now, he couldn’t leave, he’d break his cover and Joker would know for sure who he was.

He swallowed hard, looking Joker up and down, his eyes stopping at the sickening smile on Joker’s face.

He moved forward and pulled Joker into a kiss, taking him off guard. Joker let out a soft squeak and Batman pushed him back into the room and pressed him against the wall.

Joker’s hands were all over him, desperately trying to unclasp his armour.

Batman pushed his hands away and unclasped the armour himself. He knew he couldn’t let Joker learn how to take it off, that would cause as many problems in the long run as these sordid visits would.

His armour fell to the floor as their kiss deepened. Batman pulled back, leaving Joker panting against the wall.

“Ready?”

Joker nodded weakly, his mouth hanging open, his body twitching slightly with anticipation.

Batman mirrored Joker’s nod. He turned him forcefully, pushing him hard against the wall, he pulled down Joker’s underwear and moved his hand to Joker’s hole, running his finger over it, pressing into him slightly.

Joker let out a whine, his head tipping forward, his forehead pressing against the wall. He pushed his hips back against Batman’s intruding finger.

Batman let out a soft groan as he removed his finger. Joker shifted on his feet in front of him, opening his legs wider, his breath was short and shallow. Batman could tell how much he wanted him.

He leaned in to kiss at the back of Joker’s neck, moaning softly against his pale skin and listening intently for Joker’s soft wanting whimpers.

“Don’t tease me,” Joker growled meekly, he lifted his leg and hooked his ankle around the calf of Batman’s leg, urging him closer.

Batman kicked Joker’s foot away, shoving him against the wall again.

“Don’t talk,” he demanded, “And don’t tell me what to do.”

Joker let out a jolted breath, he nodded against the wall, letting out a soft grunt of acknowledgment.

Batman pulled away for a moment, giving his dick a slow stroke, precome was already dripping from him.

He moved forward, one of his hands going to Joker’s hip, he looked down at himself and watched as he pressed against Joker’s hole, groaning softly as Joker took him.

He hadn’t fully realised how much he’d wanted this until now. The last time had been a shock, but this one was premeditated. Although he told himself it was wrong and he shouldn’t do it he didn’t think there was anything that could have stopped him from coming back.

Slowly he moved his second hand to Joker’s hips, he gripped him tight and bit his lip as he pushed deeper, Joker’s moans filled him as he began to thrust slowly. He let himself become absorbed in the feeling of him, the sounds he was making. His thrusts became harder as Joker’s moans grew louder.

Joker pressed back against him, moving in time with Batman’s thrusts. He moved a hand slowly from its place on the wall, taking himself in his hand and pumping himself slowly in time with Batman’s movements.

Batman watched as Joker moved his hand, he could tell from his pace that he expected this to be a long session.

He sped up slightly, pressing himself closer. He looked Joker up and down, studying his marred frame, the way his muscles twitched with each moan that left him. There was a thin layer of sweat covering him, making his skin gleam against the harsh lights in the room.

There was something so attractive about him, Bruce wasn’t exactly sure of what it was, or when he’d first noticed it.

“Say my name,” Batman growled out quietly, looking down and watching himself. “I want to hear you say it.”

“Batman,” Joker groaned, his voice jolting as Batman continued pounding into him. Batman let out a soft moan as Joker began repeating his name, separating them with obscenities.

“Batman, oh fuck, Batman, fuck me.”

Batman bit his lip, growling and grunting. He pulled Joker’s hips close to him, holding him still, he thrust in to the base, holding himself there for a moment.

Joker whined loudly, pressing back against Batman, panting loudly, his long nails scratching at the wall.

“You like this?” Batman asked quietly.

Joker nodded.

“You want more?” Batman asked.

Joker nodded again, “Yes, Bats… I-I was getting close.”

Batman let out another growl. He moved Joker’s hips forcefully, slowly, looking down at himself as he moved Joker along his shaft.

Joker moaned and whimpered as Batman moved him, pumping himself hurriedly.

“Batman,” he whined, pressing his head against the wall again, his eyes screwed shut. “Go faster, go faster!”

Batman bit his lip again, he let out a soft hum, slowing down again. “I said ‘don’t tell me what to do’.”

Joker whimpered, his hand moving faster on himself. “Sorry, Bats,” he moaned softly, “Please, I was getting close.”

A smile came to Batman’s face, “I’ve never heard you say please before.”

Joker let out a weak strained laugh, “Then-then I guess we don’t talk much.”

Batman grit his teeth, he dug his nails into Jokers hips, pressing him against the wall again, thrusting hard into him. He moaned as he began pounding into him again, hard and fast, making Joker scream and moan loudly.

The moans became more desperate, he broke from Batman’s grip and bounced back against him faster.

Batman groaned softly, changing his rhythm to match Joker’s. He let out a low growl, “Joker…”

At the word Joker buckled, a soft whimper coming from him as he came, followed by a string of long loud breaths.

Batman let out another groan, louder this time, he leaned forward to kiss and bite the back of Joker’s neck, thrusting deep into him.

Joker moaned softly, pushing back against him again, “Oh, Batman,” he said between moans, “Keep fucking me, your dick feels am-amazing.”

“Yeah?” Batman growled.

Joker nodded, “Y-yeah. So-so good, Batman. Fuck, it feels so good.”

Batman growled again into Joker’s ear, his breath turning short, he pinched some of Joker’s skin between his teeth, pushing him forward against the wall again, he felt the tension in his gut release suddenly, a groan leaving him as it did.

His thrusts slowed as his orgasm left him.

Joker let out a soft hum, “Fuck…” he swore to himself, “I thought you’d last a bit longer.” He shook his head, “I would have happily gone for a second.”

Batman frowned, pulling out slowly, “I wouldn’t want to spoil you.”

Joker chuckled softly, turning to face him. “Careful, start making jokes and I’ll stop believing you’re really Batman.”

He slumped back against the wall as Batman began to gather his armour. “Your… uh, your money’s on the windowsill.”

“I told you I don’t need it,” Batman said absently, doing up the clasps to his armour.

“Sure you do!” Joker smiled, shakily making his way to the bed, “I’m sure you got a, uh, gym membership to pay for, protein shakes or something?”

“I said no.”

Joker raised an eyebrow, “Then why are you really here?” he grinned, “Or is that your game? You get people hooked for free and then charge through the nose?”

Batman turned to the door, “You’ll be here next week?”

Joker shrugged, “Probably,” he chuckled, “I look forward to more free sex.”


	3. Chapter 3

This was the third week, the third time he’d been here. He didn’t feel any more at ease going in as he had the previous times. There was still part of him that wanted to turn and leave.

He’d have to take Joker’s money this time, or else the illusion would be broken and there’d be no way he could deny it was him. Who knew how he’d gotten that cash. Maybe he could hand it in to the police on the way back, or give it to charity.

He had to take it.

Was that really where he drew the line now?

There was a time where he would have scolded himself for so much as being in the same room as Joker without cuffing him.

Now…

He let out a soft breath.

He could turn and leave.

He could take Joker in here and now.

He could call the cops on him.

He didn’t have to go in.

He closed his eyes slowly, letting out another breath as he extended a hand to knock on the door.

The door swung open at his touch. He looked it up and down, looking through the gap in the door. Joker stood behind it, fully dressed this time, his hand on the handle.

“I was watching you,” he chuckled weakly, “It looked like you had something on your mind.”

Batman shook his head, “It’s nothing.” He walked into the room, beginning to unclip his armour. He looked over at Joker, it only now registered in his head that he was dressed.

“Strip,” he ordered.

Joker smiled weakly, “Now, Bats, you do know that it is possible to have sex while dressed?”

Batman frowned, “I’d rather you were undressed.”

Joker scoffed, “It doesn’t really matter what you want, does it?”

Batman let out a soft exhale, looking Joker up and down.

He could be hiding something, a weapon? But why would he?

There was no point in asking why, this was the Joker, there was no sense to anything he did.

Batman took a step forward, beginning to pat Joker down.

“Frisky,” Joker growled, an eyebrow raised, he seemed unimpressed.

Batman frowned at him, working his way down, dropping to his knees to pat down Joker’s lower half.

He didn’t seem to be hiding anything.

Then why was he so insistent on staying dressed..?

Obviously he was hiding something.

As he finished his search he moved his hand to Joker’s crotch. His eyes wandered up to meet Joker’s.

He was looking down at him intently, his eyes wide, his mouth hanging open. A low groan left him as Batman unzipped Joker’s suit trousers and exposed his length.

Batman moved his eyes back down to Joker’s cock. He felt a tug in his gut as he studied it, running his hand slowly over him.

He’d not really paid attention to the Joker’s dick before, everything had been rushed before now. It was nice to slow down and have the opportunity to absorb the sight of it. What Batman found most striking was the green hair at the base, Joker’s white skin seemed almost blue against it.

Like the rest of him Batman found it oddly attractive.

He leant forward to take Joker’s tip into his mouth, letting out a soft moan around him. He closed his eyes as he heard Joker whine from above him, slowly he tightened his lips around him and pushed his mouth down, continuing to moan softly as Joker’s tip reached the back of his throat, the green hair at the base ticking Batman’s lips.

“That’s,” Joker breathed out, “That’s the whole thing,” he let out a small laugh which petered out into a moan. He bucked forward into Batman’s mouth. “Fuck…”

Batman let out a grunt as Joker’s cock pressed against the back of his throat, he held it for a moment before pulling back, bobbing his head slowly.

Joker whined and whimpered, “Look at me, Bats.”

Batman complied, opening his eyes and looking up to meet Joker’s, the piercing green of them sending a shiver down his spine.

Joker lowered his hand to Batman’s head, grabbing hold of one of his ears, he let out a soft growled laugh, “You’ve given yourself handles.” He gave the ear a soft tug, pulling Batman deeper onto his dick. “If I didn’t know better I’d say you’d done it on purpose.”

Batman moaned softly, continuing to look up at Joker, letting him move him. He moved a hand to begin unclipping the armour on his crotch.

Joker frowned, shifting to kick Batman’s hand away from himself, “Now did I say you could do that?” he shook his head, panting softly, “You don’t get to come this time, Bats. You’re-You’re going to be a good little _cocksucker_ , aren’t you..?”

Batman frowned up at him, but again complied, putting his hand on Joker’s leg, digging his nails into his skin.

Joker moaned loudly, smiling at the sight of Batman’s annoyance. He began thrusting slowly into Batman’s mouth, using the ears of his cowl to move Batman’s head in time. Batman tightened his lips, pressing his tongue up against Joker’s shaft, moaning softly onto him.

“Yeah, fuck,” Joker groaned, his smile widening, “You look good sucking my dick.”

Batman let out a growl in response, at the noise Joker let out a soft chuckle, he moved his foot again to nudge at Batman’s crotch, “Perhaps it was a little cruel to say you couldn’t touch yourself. You’re being very good so I’ll let you.”

The tone of his voice twisted Batman’s gut, but at the word he moved his hand back to his crotch, beginning to pump himself fast, his eyes fluttered closed as he touched himself, soft moans leaking from the corners of his lips as Joker continued to fuck his mouth.

Joker groaned softly, “Oh, fuck, Batman, that’s good… You were holding out on-on me a bit.”

Batman moaned again and sucked hungrily at Joker’s cock, his hand moving quickly on himself. The taste of him spurred him on, the sounds he made filling him.

He could feel heat rising slowly in him, small groans leaving him each time the tip of Joker’s dick hit the back of his throat, Joker’s moans growing louder with each thrust.

Slowly Joker’s moans turn into loud pants and whines, “I’m… Oh, Batman, I’m-I’m close.”

Batman hummed softly, he pulled back slightly, he moved his spare hand to the base of Joker’s cock, sucking and bobbing his head softly on the head, his tongue swirling on his tip, he opened his eyes again and looked up at Joker’s their eyes meeting. Joker’s face was filled with want and desperation, his eyes flittered across Batman’s face as if he wasn’t sure what to focus on.

Batman let out a soft grunt as Joker came into his mouth, letting out a loud moan as he did. Joker held tight onto the ears of Batman’s cowl, suddenly pulling him forward and thrusting into him. Batman convulsed slightly as Joker’s come poured down his throat, closing his eyes and willing himself not to cough or choke. He swallowed around him and pulled off slowly, licking at him as the last of Joker’s come dripped out.

Joker smiled down at him, breathing heavily, he glanced at Batman’s hand, still moving on his own dick, “Looks like I beat you to the punchline again Batman.” He gripped the ear of Batman’s cowl and moved his head back so he was looking up at him, his lips covered in come and drool. “Keep going, Bats, I want to watch you come.”

Batman grit his teeth, looking up at Joker, groaning softly as he tightened his grip on himself. Joker’s mouth lulled open as he watched Batman’s hand moving on his dick. His eyes bulged slightly at the sight, his lips curled into a smile as Batman’s breath shortened.

“Come on, Batsy,” he growled impatiently, his eyes fixed on him.

Batman let out a loud groan as he came, his head moved to tip forward but Joker held him still, looking at him intently as he watched his orgasm spill from him. Batman let out a soft groan, his hand slowing to a stop.

“That looked good…” he smiled, biting his lips. He let go of Batman’s cowl, smiling as Batman’s head dipped slightly.

His smile widened into a smug grin, “Did I taste good?”

Batman cleared his throat, clipping his armour back in place, he gave a soft nod. “I’ve tasted worse.”

Joker scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Such compliments.” He patted his suit down, smoothing it out, “Your money’s on the windowsill, if you want it that is.”

Batman got to his feet, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand, he looked down at the wad of cash on the windowsill. His stomach churned as he walked over and took it, counting through it as to look convincing.

“480?” he said with a frown.

Joker let out a questioning noise, “I thought I put down 500?” He shrugged, “I must have miscounted.” He smiled weakly, “I don’t suppose you’ll wait till next week for the other 20?”

Batman looked over at him, letting out a soft growl.

Joker held up a hand, “Ok, ok, let me get you that $20…” he turned and walked to the dresser, pulling out a draw, half filled with weapons and half filled with underpants, Batman felt his gut twinge at the sight.

“It’s ok,” Batman growled, “I’ll get it next week…”

Joker closed the draw, smiling, he took a step back towards Batman, pulling him into an open mouthed kiss, “I’ll see you again next week.”


	4. Chapter 4

Today marked the 4th week Batman had visited Joker’s hotel room. He’d thought it over and decided that visiting was a good thing, he could keep track of him without Joker knowing who he really was, he could use this to manipulate and maybe stall him if he suspected him of doing something. Although he did feel a little bad about misleading him.

He looked through the crack in the curtains, looking to see if Joker was in there.

The sight of the clown on the bed made his chest swell. It was comforting, just the knowledge that he was here and not out causing trouble, although it might have been deeper than that.

He pushed the door open and stood in the frame, looking down at Joker, waiting for him to acknowledge him. He was fully dressed again this time, facing the wall, his chest rising and falling slowly, his arms held out in a position that seemed unnatural and uncomfortable.

A few seconds passed and Joker still hadn’t stirred. Batman locked the door to the room and walked to the side of the bed, looking down at him.

He was asleep. He looked peaceful and helpless and small, drool dripping from the corner of his mouth and his eyelids fluttering, it looked like he was dreaming.

“Joker,” Batman said sternly.

Joker’s eyes jumped open, he inhaled sharply through his nose as he woke. After a moment his eyes settled on Batman, and a smile came to his face.

“Oh,” he said quietly, lifting a hand to wipe his mouth, “Batman, good to see you.” He sat up on the bed, “I saw you on tv earlier having a fight with Croc.”

Batman felt his stomach tense, did Joker know for sure, or was this part of the fantasy he’d made for himself?

“I can’t say that didn’t make me _jealous_ …” Joker cooed, “I thought you might not come after that.”

Batman stilled as the words sank in, the way Joker said the word ‘jealous’, as if it were the most genuine thing he’d ever felt. It made his gut twitch slightly, though he wasn’t sure why. It didn’t feel bad.

“I’m not one to break my commitments,” Batman said sternly, “If you think I would then you don’t know me very well.”

Joker chuckled and waved his hand dismissively.

Batman looked him up and down, he was fully dressed and had been asleep, he didn’t look like he’d been expecting to have sex. “Would you like me to leave?” he asked.

Joker shook his head, smiling, his eyes widening slightly, “Oh of course not. I would never turn you away, you delicious thing…”

He lay back on the bed, smiling up at him. “Let me watch you undress, I want you in just the cowl and the boots.”

Batman nodded, his eyes flit over Joker’s fully clothed body again. He began unclipping his armour, doing so in a way that it wasn’t overtly obvious to Joker how he was doing it.

He let the pieces fall to his feet, thudding loudly in the silence.

Joker looked up at him, biting his lips as more and more of Batman’s skin was exposed. He lowered a hand to himself and pulled down his trousers, beginning to stroke his cock, palming at the head before gripping the shaft.

Batman watched as Joker’s cock swelled in his hand, a soft moan leaving him as he watched, he could feel himself becoming hard underneath his armour.

He pulled off the last of his armoured plates, exposing himself. He glanced down to see that he was already hard, not that he couldn’t feel it.

Joker smiled at him, his eyes transfixed on Batman’s crotch, “You must really like the look of me, Bats,” he looked back up at him, a sly smile on his face.

Batman nodded.

“Most people don’t react to me like you do.”

The look on Joker’s face made Batman feel uneasy, the softness to his voice, he wasn’t sure why Joker was talking like that.

Joker shifted on the bed, the softness evaporating from him as he did. “Now, Batman, I want you to come down here and ride me.”

Batman’s face fell a little, “What?” he said softly.

The unsettling grin on Joker’s face returned to full strength. “You heard me,” he growled.

“I’m not… prepared,” Batman said stiffly.

Joker’s smile fell, “Why not? You’re Batman, you’re meant to be ready for anything. It’s literally in your job description.”

Batman felt his stomach sink, “Sorry,” he heard himself say.

Joker clicked his tongue, he shifted on the bed slightly. “Be ready next week. Luckily for you I am always ready for anything.” The smile returned to his face, “You can use me like a come rag.”

A soft breath left Batman at Joker’s words. He moved forward and leant over Joker, kissing at him and biting his lips. He moved between Joker’s legs and pressed against his hole, looking down at Joker as he pushed in, faster and more forcefully than he usually would. His teeth grit as Joker began to moan.

Batman thrust in to his base, Joker whined and moaned beneath him. He growled softly, looking down to watch the clown touch himself. He raised himself to his knees on the bed, holding Joker’s hips, he began pounding into him, faster and harder than he usually would.

Joker had said he’d felt jealous, the words replayed in Batman’s head again. He wasn’t sure how that made him feel, he wasn’t sure if it was anger or not. He could feel the emotion pouring out of him with every thrust.

Joker screamed at the suddenness of it, panting loudly, pumping his dick with his hand, “Oh, fuck, Batman. That’s right, give me everything you’ve got. Fuck the shit out of me.”

Batman grit his teeth, pushing his hands under Joker’s button up shirt, digging his nails into Joker’s skin hard enough to pierce it, hammering into him, watching him bounce under him, watching his face contort in a mix pain and pleasure.

He swore loudly, wrapping his legs around Batman’s hips, moving himself in time with Batman.

“Touch me,” Joker whimpered.

Batman moved his hand from Joker’s hip to stroke his cock, palming at him in the say way he’d seen him do to himself earlier. Joker whined and moaned, his head tipping back, his hand darting up to tangle in his bed-mussed hair.

He ground back against Batman’s dick, thrusting up awkwardly into his hand.

Batman tightened his grip on Joker’s cock, squeezing hard to the point he thought it might be painful.

Joker’s reaction sent a shiver through Batman, the moaned-out growl-like laugh that came from him. It spurred him on, his hand moving faster, thrusting harder.

“Batman…” Joker moaned. “Bats, your dick feels so good Bats, give it to me.”

Batman let out a deep moan in response, pounding into him as fast and as hard as he could. “I want to feel you come, Joker,” he growled out weakly.

Joker nodded, letting out a soft whine, grabbing desperately at the sheets of the bed.

Batman growled softly, his gut twitching at the sight of Joker squirming from his touch.

He looked so good, every time they had sex Batman was struck by how stunning Joker was, the way the light and shadow played on his features, emphasising the angles of his nose and chin.

Batman growled out Joker’s name, their eyes fixed on each other, Batman groaned loudly, that same emotion washed over him again as they came almost simultaneously.

Batman’s head spun as Joker’s soft moans filled the hotel room. He closed his eyes as he flopped down on the bed beside him, panting and moaning.

He didn’t make much of an effort to move, keeping his eyes closed, keeping the image in his mind; Joker bouncing on top of him, his shirt partly unbuttoned, his tie loose, the look of pleasure of his face.

“Very passionate,” he heard Joker say from beside him.

He opened his eyes and looked over at Joker, his eyes flitting over him, studying him for just a moment. Through the gap in his shirt he thought he had seen a dark spot on Joker’s skin, something he’d not noticed last time. He reached down to tug at his shirt, and there it was, a large fading bruise on his gut.

Joker frowned and slapped Batman’s hand away. “Don’t overstep, Batsy,” he said sternly.

Quickly the afterglow of sex left him and he felt his stomach begin to turn, the images he’d been trying to keep in his mind he suddenly felt almost disgusted by.

His eyes lifted to meet Joker’s. “What happened to your stomach?” he asked.

“What stomach?” Joker chuckled, after a second it petered out and the look on his face turned a little more serious.

“Fell down the stairs? Tripped and hit a door handle? Got beaten up in a botched mugging? I don’t know,” Joker shrugged, “What does it matter.”

“If you die then you can’t pay me,” Batman said, that wasn’t the real reason of course, but what else could he say.

Joker chuckled softly, “How caring.” He lifted himself on the bed and crossed his legs, looking down at Batman and giving him a disarming smile.

Batman’s face went blank as Joker smiled down at him, feeling far more naked and vulnerable than he had only a few seconds ago.

“I like you, darling,” Joker said softly, “I don’t want you pulled in to my messes, and let me tell you, _honey_ , you don’t want to be pulled into my messes.” He reached out to pat Batman’s stomach. Batman flinched at the action, Joker let out a soft chuckle, looking Batman up and down. “…Sometimes I forget you’re not really Batman, then you go and do something like that and it’s real obvious you’re not him.”

Batman feigned a smile, “It’s a hard act to keep up sometimes.” He glanced down towards Joker’s bruise, which was again hidden by his shirt. “Is that why you didn’t want to get undressed last week?”

Joker shrugged, his eyes flitting away for a moment, focusing on the bottle of lube on the bedside table, his eyes moving as if he were reading the label over and over. “I don’t have to tell you that,” he growled listlessly.

“Why would you lie to me about it?” Batman asked trying not to sound too pushy, knowing that Joker would either get angry or bolt or both if he felt he was being pressed about something he didn’t want to talk about.

Joker’s eyes flicked back to him, the smile on his face widening and his fingers running over Batman’s skin. “I wasn’t 100 percent sure if I trusted you enough.”

“And now you trust me?” Batman asked, doubt and disbelief in his voice; they’d barely spoken and Batman certainly hadn’t done anything to gain his trust.

Joker shook his head, “I got caught up in the moment and let you lift my shirt,” he chuckled weakly, lowering himself back down on the bed, resting on his elbow. “Now, you’ve got to decide if you want to come back next week.”

Batman looked him up and down again, his face almost blank. “You’re very attractive and I don’t scare easily. I don’t see why I wouldn’t come back just because someone beat you up.”

Joker smiled, biting his lip, “You really find me attractive? What is it? The white skin? The green hair? The scars? The _delightful_ laugh?”

Batman shrugged half-heartedly, he hoped that would be enough of an answer, but Joker continued staring at him. “I’m not sure, there’s just something about you,” he said slowly, that was the truth.

Joker gave a slow nod, that oddly soft smile still on his lips, “You know you also have to decide if you want to blow your cover by finding the people who beat me up and beat them up yourself.”

“What cover?” Batman asked, his stomach tensing slightly.

Joker let out a chuckle, leaning in to kiss Batman on the cheek, “That’s my good boy.”

He pulled away and stretched out his long pale body, cracking his back, shoulder, and knuckles with the action. “You wanna be on your way now?”

Batman let out a slow breath and nodded. He turned on the bed and put his feet to the floor, he let out a soft sigh as he got to his feet and walked to the windowsill, he picked up the wad of cash stacked there and counted it out. “$520.”

“Yeah,” Joker nodded behind him, picking up a piece of Batman’s armour from the floor and lazily playing with it, “I owe you from last week remember.”

“I remember,” Batman stated, turning his head, “Don’t play with that,” he gestured to the armour, holding his hand out to take it from him.

Joker smirked and handed the pate back to him, watching as he began to clip them back onto himself.

Batman ignored him as he dressed, stuffing the money in one of his belt pouches. He turned back to Joker, watching him for a moment as he lounged comfortably on the bed.

Part of him wished he could stay longer, but he didn’t want to over stay his welcome.

“I’ll see you next week,” he said softly.

“I’ll be waiting,” Joker cooed, his eyes fixed on him as he walked to the door.

The cold air of the night hit his face, and he felt himself leave the tiny fantasy world he and Joker had made.


	5. Chapter 5

Bruce was careful to prepare himself before leaving for the hotel that night, he made sure to take his time, subverting his regular routine. He’d only douched a few times in his life and he found it heavily unpleasant, he found himself wondering why he was doing it. He didn’t have to, he could make an excuse, he didn’t even have to go.

He wanted to go, he wanted to try it, the idea was exciting to him, although he wasn’t sure if the reality would be as enjoyable.

On top of that something told him it was a good idea to continue this affair, Joker had been totally radio silent since their first meeting, no sightings or rumours about him. This wasn’t just good for Batman, it was good for Gotham, anything he could do to prolong this inactivity was worth doing.

He lubed himself up before he left the batmobile, using a little more lube than he thought would be necessary, praying as he did that no one would stumble across him.

The walk from the car to the hotel was tense, he felt uncomfortable and a little nervous, but also excited. He was already erect under his armour, he could feel the pressure of himself against it.

He felt more excitement jump up inside him as he saw the door to the hotel. He didn’t knock as he reached it, he turned the handle and walked in, his eyes immediately fixing on Joker. The man was lying on the bed in a pair of off-white boxers and socks, a magazine in his hands.

Joker smiled over the top of it, looking Batman up and down, “Are you ever not early?” he asked softly.

“Take off your clothes,” Batman ordered.

Joker chuckled softly, closing the magazine and putting it on the bedside table, “Aren’t we demanding today.”

Batman swallowed hard, he didn’t want to let slip how excited he was for this. Truthfully he’d been thinking about it all week to the point of it becoming distracting, trying to talk himself out of his excitement.

Joker looked back into Batman’s piercing eyes, his smile widening, “Alright,” he mumbled happily. Slowly he lifted his legs one by one to remove his socks, and he pulled off his boxers, as he threw the boxers to the floor Batman began to undress, unclipping his armour and throwing it down until only his cowl and boots remained.

The smile on Joker’s face widened moreso as Batman exposed himself, “I see you’ve been thinking about me.”

Batman nodded, he lowered himself onto the bed and leant down to catch Joker’s lips in a kiss. Joker let out a soft moan as he sank into it, his body softening at Batman’s touch.

Batman moved his hand to brush against Joker’s crotch, teasing him as he pulled out of their kiss. “I’m going to ride you,” he informed him, “I’m going to take every inch you’ve got.”

Joker let out a whine, his cock jumping in Batman’s hand. He nodded eagerly, moving his hand to Batman’s hip, urging him to move.

“Now who’s eager,” Batman growled, his heart thumping with anticipation in his chest.

Joker let out a weak laugh, a soft blush on his cheeks. “I’ve been dreaming of this.”

The corner of Batman’s mouth twitched as he held back a smile, knowing that Joker wanted to try this as much as he did only added to his excitement.

Joker stared up at Batman as he moved over him, taking Joker’s cock in his hand and moving it to press against him.

He closed his eyes and hissed as Joker’s tip pressed into him, as he felt himself yield to Joker he wished he’d used more lube. He let out a soft whine of pain, Joker moaned loudly at the sound, lifting his hips slightly, trying to press further into him.

Batman tipped his head back slightly, breathing slowly as he lowered himself onto Joker’s length.

“You’ve-“ Joker began, watching his cock disappear, “You’ve not done this many times before have you?”

Batman shook his head weakly, gritting his teeth as he reached Joker’s base. He let out a loud pant, his eyes opening glazed. He groaned, his body twitching slightly at Joker’s intrusion.

Joker tightened his grip on Batman’s hip, holding him still. “Oh, I like this,” he purred, he rolled his hips slowly, “You feel good, so tight,” he looked Batman up and down, “Is this your first time?” he cooed.

Batman looked down at Joker, letting a weak smile ghost his lips, “Do you want it to be?” he asked, trying to add a sultry tone to his usual growl.

Joker bit his lip, thinking for a moment, “I would like that,” he nodded, pushing his hips up again, “I want to be the first one to make you feel like this, darling.”

Batman inhaled sharply as Joker thrust upwards, “Fuck,” he growled. Joker’s cock filled him perfectly, now that he’d gotten used to it every movement shook him with pleasure.

He rose himself slightly, beginning to rock and bounce on Joker’s cock, feeling it move inside him, brushing slowly against his prostate. He breathed deep and slow, leaning backwards to push Joker deeper.

Joker moaned and panted loudly, watching Batman move ontop of him. He moved a hand from Batman’s hips to brush his fingers against his cock, Batman groaned as he did, his mouth lulling open a little. He took him softly in his hand and began to stroke him lazily, watching Batman’s chest rise and fall rapidly.

Batman bit his lip as Joker’s grip began to tighten, he reached back to place his hands on Joker’s legs, digging his nails into his pale skin.

Joker moaned softly as Batman scratched at him, he tightened his grip on Batman’s cock and thrust up hard.

“Joker,” Batman panted out, a soft whine to his voice.

Joker groaned, thrusting up again, “Do you like that, Batsy?”

Batman nodded in reply, pushing down in time with Joker’s thrusts.

“Let me hear you say you like it.”

Batman groaned weakly, “I like it,” he said quietly, “It feels good, Joker.”

Joker let out another moan, “That’s my good boy.” He pumped Batman’s dick faster, thrusting up rhythmically. “Fuck, you feel good,” he said through gritted teeth, smiling, “You fit me like a glove, Bats, it feels so good.”

Batman closed his eyes again, focusing on the feeling of the cock inside him, the hand squeezing him. Every move Joker made felt amazing, he didn’t want it to end, but he could feel the unfamiliar sensations pushing him close.

“Joker,” he gasped, “You’re going to make me come.”

Joker let out a weak laugh, his smile widening, “Y-yeah?” he asked.

Batman let out another loud moan, feeling Joker’s cock twitch with arousal inside him.

“I want that, Bats,” Joker growled breathily, “I wanna feel you come with my cock in you.”

“You’re going to make me come,” Batman repeated, his voice weak. He panted softly, Joker continuing to stroke him, thrusting into him hard and fast.

He let out a load moan as he felt himself come, the tension in his gut spilling from him. He looked down at Joker as he did, watching his eyes gleam as come splashed over him and Batman’s hole clenched on him.

Joker let out a soft moan, his thrusts slowing for a moment. “That looked so good,” he said, his voice strained, “Fuck, you’re good.”

Batman moaned quietly as Joker continued to thrust into him, the waves of pleasure beginning to subside, slowly giving way to a slight discomfort.

“Come inside me,” Batman growled out.

Joker nodded, lifting his come covered hand to dig his fingers in his hair. His expression faltered as Batman felt his cock twitch inside him again, he let out a soft groan as he felt Joker come in him.

Joker let out a long moan, writhing for a moment underneath Batman before his body began to relax.

Batman bit his lip softly as he lifted himself from Joker and lowered himself onto the bed next to him, his eyes stayed on Joker, watching him breathing rapidly, almost panting.

“You…” Joker said breathlessly, “You are worth more than you charge.” He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “That was just like I imagined it.”

Batman nodded, his eyes darting away for a moment. “How long have you wanted to do that for?”

“Fuck Batman?” Joker huffed, “Oh, a very long time. Though I’m not sure when I first realised _that_ was what I wanted.”

“Do you think he wants to have sex with you?” Batman asked.

Joker frowned, “Don’t ask me that, don’t ruin this for me.”

Batman swallowed hard, glancing away, letting out a soft breath. “If it’s any consolation I think he’s missing out.”

Joker let out a loud laugh, tipping his head back. “Oh… Honey, I’m paying you, you’ll say anything.”

Batman shook his head, “I mean it. I think that under different circumstances you would make a good couple.”

Joker frowned weakly, “Darling, stop. You’re going to make me sad.” He lifted his head to look at him, “When you’re in this room you _are_ Batman. Don’t ruin the illusion. I didn’t think that needed to be said.”

Batman bit his lip, shifting on the bed to lift himself slightly. “I apologise,” he said quietly. He cleared his throat, he hoped that what he was about to say wouldn’t reveal too much, he knew the event had been shown on the news, it wouldn’t be suspicious for him to mention it. “There… There was one time a few years ago, I was chasing you on a set of train tracks, I pushed you out of the path of a train, and the way you looked at me…” he shook his head weakly, “I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone as much as I wanted to kiss you then.”

Joker’s face lit up as Batman told his story, a smile spreading across his face. “I remember that. I wanted to kiss you too,” he let out a soft chuckle, “And then you punched me in the nose.”

“I would have kissed you if I hadn’t,” Batman said to defend himself.

Joker nodded, “Yeah, and _that_ would have been worse.”

Batman shook his head, “I’m not good with emotions.”

Joker scoffed, “That’s not new information.” He smiled softly, looking Batman up and down, “I wonder what would have happened if we had kissed that night.”

“The press would have had a field day,” Batman smirked.

Joker nodded, letting out a soft huff. “I suppose you’ll be on your way.”

Batman let out a soft breath, shifting on the bed, feeling the discomfort in his lower back. “I might need a moment.”

Joker smiled widely, looking Batman up and down again, his eyes hovering on his crotch, he turned on his side and raised himself onto his elbow, “I thought you were just playing a part but you really don’t do this very often do you?”

Batman shook his head, settling himself on the bed again, “It’s not something I offer to most people.”

Joker’s smile widened to the point it was almost disturbing, his eyes glowing and a soft blush coming to his pale cheeks, “So I’m special?”

Batman held back a chuckle, “Yes,” he stated, “You’re special.”

Joker cooed softly and leant over to kiss him on the shoulder. “Why’d you make that exception for me?”

“I just said: you’re special,” Batman replied.

Joker let out a weak chuckle, giving Batman a playful slap on the arm, “Stop, Bats, you’re going to make me fall in love with you.”

Batman smirked, “You’re not already?”

Joker’s blush deepened a little, “Well… I wouldn’t say it out loud.” He gave Batman’s shoulder another kiss, “I feel like you might not feel the same.”

Batman swallowed hard. The longer he lay there the more the absurdity of the situation sunk in, here he was, laying in bed with Joker, talking to him as if they were actually involved, as if they didn’t try to kill each other on a semi-regular basis.

“I can’t say I do,” Batman grumbled, a soft frown on his face, “But I can say I enjoy this. The past month has been… nice.”

Joker let out a soft huff, his eyes darting away for a moment.

He turned on the bed and swung his legs over the side, getting to his feet and walking to the draws at the opposite side of the room. Batman felt himself tense as he watched: he knew what Joker kept in some of those draws.

He opened the draws and pulled out some boxers and a shirt.

“Aren’t you going to shower? You know you’ve got come all over you,” Batman stated.

Joker shook his head, “No, I like the feeling,” he winked, smiling as he began to dress himself.

Batman huffed, slowly he turned himself in the bed and sat up, stretching, his face gurning a little at the unfamiliar sensation inside him. He picked up his armour and began to clip it back on silently. After a few seconds of silence he glanced up at Joker, noticing now that he was watching him.

“You’re a very handsome man,” Joker cooed, his voice unusually quiet.

“You are too,” Batman replied, clipping on the last of his armour.

Joker chuckled softly, “Who said I’m a man?”

Batman felt a weak smile come to his face, not bothering to hold it back, “Who said I’m one either?”

Joker laughed again, louder this time, he took the few steps between them and kissed Batman again, on the forehead this time. “You’re such a sweetheart,” he cooed. “I’ll see you next week?”

Batman nodded, “I hope so.”


	6. Chapter 6

Batman walked toward the hotel room, his heart thudding in his chest, his crotch tugging in excitement. He’d prepped himself again in case Joker wanted to top him again, it hadn’t felt as unpleasant this time.

He opened the door to the hotel, glancing around for Joker. He didn’t see him, he thought for a moment that he may be in the bathroom, but the door was open and he could see it was empty.

He was a little early, but no more so than usual.

Perhaps Joker had left to find some food.

Batman moved to the bed and sat down awkwardly, his hands on his knees and his back straight. He looked around the room, taking in his surroundings. This was the same hotel room Joker had stayed in for almost two months if not longer, but it was still quite clean. That either meant that Joker cleaned up after himself, which seemed unlikely, he let the hotel maids clean up around him, which was also unlikely, or he didn’t spend much time here, only sleeping here and storing things.

After tonight he should make a point of following Joker during the day, seeing where he goes.

He let out a soft sigh, it felt strange being the one doing the waiting. He leant back on the bed, laying across it with his hands behind his head.

After a moment he heard a buzzing in his ear. He let out a loud groan and pressed the button on his helmet.

“Yes?” he said, frowning, he’d asked specifically not to be contacted unless it was an emergency.

“Batman,” Alfred’s voice said into his ear.

“Can this wait?”

“The Riddler has popped up at the GCB, he’s recruited Croc, so the boys tell me, they require assistance.”

Batman pinched his brow, letting out another groan, “Shit. Ok.”

He hung up, growling to himself as he sat back up, getting to his feet, his teeth grit.

He clenched his fists, he wasn’t sure how to deal with what was happening, he couldn’t just abandon Joker.

He picked up the notebook and pencil next to the phone, writing out a quick note.

‘Forgot an appointment, I’ll come back later- Batman.’

He walked out the door and turned the corner to walk back towards the batmobile.

He stilled as he heard a yell from behind him.

“Hey, Batsy!” Joker called after him.

Batman turned to see Joker walking towards him, a large bag in one of his outstretched hands. He walked up to him and leaned in to kiss him, lifting his leg as he did.

“Darling,” he cooed, “I just got us some snacks.”

“Us?” Batman grunted, standing ridged.

Joker nodded, “Yes, I get so hungry after sex, we’re talking and I’m laying there with my stomach growling.”

“Then they’re for you, really, aren’t they.”

Joker scoffed, “You can have some too, have you ever had Cheetos? I’ll bet you haven’t, you seem like the type who’d eat half a lettuce if they felt snacky.”

“I eat protein bars if I’m ‘snacky’,” Batman informed him, crossing his arms.

“But no Cheetos?” Joker grinned.

Batman shook his head.

Joker reached out to take his hand, giving it a soft tug, “Well come on then, you’re eating a Cheeto tonight or you’re not getting paid.”

Batman felt a smile ghost his face, he shook his head softly. “I… I can’t actually, Joker. I have to leave, I forgot I have an appointment, I have to deal with that first.”

The smiled on Joker’s face fell, “Oh,” he said quietly, deflating quickly.

“I’ll be an hour, maybe two,” Batman informed him.

Joker glanced away, nodding. He forced a smile back onto his face, “That’s ok, I can wait an hour,” he cleared his throat, “Or-or two.”

Batman began to walk backwards, “Save me some, what are they called? Cheaters.”

Joker chuckled softly, “They’re called Cheetos, you know they’re called Cheetos.”

\----

 

\----

Batman parked up, in the same spot, two hours later, a bag of snacks on his passenger seat and a small gash on his cheek. He cleaned it up in the mirror, thinking of how he could cover it up or hide it.

He closed his eyes and let out a soft huff.

He didn’t have to hide it, Joker had had that bruise on his stomach, he’d tried to hide it but there had been no point, there was no point in hiding this either.

He pulled himself from the car, feeling his body ache as he picked up his bag, and he walked back to the hotel.

The hotel room was dark, Batman frowned at the sight, his stomach twisting, had Joker left?

He looked through the window, relief filling him as he saw Joker pacing the room in his undies and vest, lit by the streetlamp outside.

Slowly he knocked on the door, standing and waiting for Joker to answer, he could see him clearly through the window, empty bags of chips strewn on the bed, but he continued pacing.

He turned the handle to the door and opened it, walking in.

“It’s been two hours and eighteen minutes,” Joker said quietly, continuing to pace.

Batman stilled, his stomach twisting. “I said I’d-“

“Two hours and eighteen minutes, Batman. You do know I’m essentially your employer? If this were a retail job you would be _so_ fired.”

“I told you I would be late,” Batman growled, feeling anger rise in him, “And you have no right to talk to me like that, you are not my employer, you don’t know what I’ve just been through, Joker.”

Joker stopped pacing, looking him up and down. The anger in his face softened as his eyes settled on the cut on his cheek, “What happened?” his eyes flit down to the bag on Batman’s hand, “What’s that?”

“It doesn’t matter what happened,” Batman stated, “And these are snacks,” he said, throwing the bag on the bed, “I thought we could share.”

Joker let out a breath, looking down and watching the snacks fall from the bag. He let out a huff and sat on the bed, beginning to look through the bag, “You got spicy doritos, those are good,” he mumbled.

Batman nodded, he’d had no idea what to get so he’d just gotten the things with the brightest coloured packaging.

Joker sighed deeply, looking somewhat forlorn as he ripped open one of the bags. “You know I,” he shook his head weakly, sticking a couple of doritos into his mouth, “I don’t really feel like fucking tonight.”

Batman shifted on his feet slightly, “Should I leave?”

Joker shook his head, “I told you before, darling, I could never turn you away.” He smiled, pulling a packet of Cheetos out of the bag and holding it out to Batman, “Eat.”

Despite the softness to his voice Batman could tell it was more of an order, it reminded him of when Alfred would ‘ask’ him to do something.

He took the bag of Cheetos and opened it, his nose crinkling at the strong smell. He glanced at Joker who was watching him intently from the bed.

“Go on,” Joker urged him.

Batman let out a soft breath, lifting on of the cheesy things from the bag and taking it into his mouth, he chewed it slowly before swallowing. It didn’t taste as bad as he’d thought it would.

“You like it?” Joker asked, smiling.

“It’s not something I’d choose to eat, but I don’t hate them.”

Joker chuckled, laying down on the bed. “So, uh, who gave you that cut on your face?”

Batman shook his head, sitting himself down on the bed and looking down at Joker, taking another Cheeto from the bag, “I’m not going to tell you, you’ll hunt them down and kill them.”

Joker pouted slightly, stroking his chin in mock thought, “Hmm, so we know they’re alive…”

“Some of my clients are a little rougher than they pay me to be, but it’s no problem really, as you can tell I’m strong enough to fend for myself, you don’t need to worry.”

Joker scoffed, “It’s a bit late for you to tell me not to worry.”

Batman frowned, “You were worried..?”

Joker shrugged, “More jealous than worried.” He shook his head, “The idea of it, of someone else touching _my_ Batman? I don’t want their sloppy seconds.” he let out a weak growl, looking away and shoving some more doritos into his mouth, “I ate all my snacks within the first 5 minutes.”

He looked back at Batman, a sad frown on his face, “What did you do with them? Did you kiss them?”

Batman felt his gut churn at the look in Joker’s eyes, for some reason he didn’t feel he should lie.

“I didn’t kiss them,” he stated.

Joker seemed relieved for a moment, but then his look turned sour again. “God damn it, I can’t believe this,” he chuckled, the sound strained, “I can’t believe I’m getting possessive over a hooker, a Batman hooker, there are _hundreds_ of you.”

“That’s offensive,” Batman said stiffly.

“Well… you’re the best one of course.”

Batman huffed softly, “That’s not what I meant.” He ate another Cheeto, he wasn’t sure if he’d finish the bag or not, but they were growing on him.

“Still,” Joker growled, “I shouldn’t care about you as much as I do.” He shook his head, “It’s pathetic and very out of character for me.”

“I wasn’t aware there was an ‘in character’ for you,” Batman said, a soft smirk on his lips.

Joker chuckled, he reached up to put his hand in Batman’s bag of Cheetos, pulling out a handful and shovelling them into his mouth.

“There’s nothing wrong with growing attached to people who you’re sleeping with,” Batman told him, watching him chew his food.

“It’s never happened to me before,” Joker huffed, “I’m starting to think that I should stop seeing you.”

Batman’s gut clenched at the statement. He didn’t want to stop seeing Joker, it would be harder to keep track of him, he wouldn’t have this insight into Joker’s life.

He didn’t want this to end.

“I would like to continue seeing you,” Batman said sternly, quietly.

Joker swallowed hard, wiping his mouth. “It’s for your own good, Batman.”

“What if I…” he exhaled slowly and straightened himself up slightly. “Pay me double and I’ll stop seeing my other clients.”

Joker looked him up and down, “That’s not a very sound business practice.”

“That’s my offer,” Batman stated.

“I want you more than just once a week,” Joker said, sitting up on the bed.

“That’ll be triple.”

Joker huffed, “It’s like all you care about is money,” he whined.

“You know I’m worth it.”

Joker smiled softly, “You really are.” He let out a weak sigh, “I’ll pay you a thousand per day that I see you, I want as much of your time in those days as possible.”

Batman let out a soft huff, “Then I’d never have any time to myself.”

Joker sighed again, louder, “Ok, I suppose my little princess has got to have some alone time.”

Batman bit his lip as he thought, coming up with a schedule that would suit him. “You can have me for three days per week between 8pm and 2am, and one full day per month of my choosing, each six hours is one thousand.”

Joker smiled and nodded, “That’s a pretty good deal I suppose.” He pulled himself closer to Batman on the bed, “And you won’t see anyone else in that time?”

Batman shook his head.

“So you’re all mine now?” Joker cooed.

Batman nodded, his stomach twisted slightly, he felt as if this was a bad idea, but he couldn’t see another way to continue without doing it.

Joker raised himself on the bed, leaning towards him, letting out a soft hum as he kissed him on the cheek.

“This is going to be so fun,” he growled.


	7. Chapter 7

Batman couldn’t help feeling tense as he walked to the hotel room, it was 5 minutes to 8, he had spent a large amount of the afternoon fretting about it, spending 6 full hours with Joker. There would be 6 full hours where he couldn’t help out nightwing, batgirl, or robin, he was sure they’d be fine by themselves, the worst crimes usually happened after 2am, but there was a chance something might happen. 3 nights a week was a long time, it had seemed reasonable at the time but now it seemed like a bad idea. Everyone knew it was important not to bother him unless there was something life threatening. He could easily make up an excuse to satisfy Joker and make it up another night.

He wondered what Joker had planned for tonight.

The thought of having 6 hours of sex was thrilling to him, he hadn’t had anything more than the odd quick fuck in a several years. It would be so nice to go slowly for once and truly enjoy it.

He gave the hotel room door a soft knock, opening the door before getting an answer.

“Batman,” Joker cooed as the door opened, he had his back to it but obviously he was expecting him.

“Joker,” Batman cooed back, or as close as he could get to cooing.

Joker twisted his head, a smile on his face, “You ready for tonight?”

Batman nodded.

“You nervous?” Joker asked.

Batman frowned, “Why would I be nervous?”

Joker shrugged, turning where sat to face Batman fully. “You’re facing 6 hours with me, not many people can handle that.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

Joker let out a soft chuckle, “Me too, I wonder how many times I can make you come in 6 hours.”

Batman nodded, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, “I’m looking forward to finding out. I assume that’s what we’ll be doing tonight,” he tried not to sound too excited about it.

“Yep,” Joker said with a decided nod, “Tonight I’m going to see if it’s possible for someone our age to fuck for 6 hours straight.”

Batman frowned, “Our age?” He had always assumed that Joker didn’t know how old either of them were.

Joker looked him up and down, an eyebrow raising, “How old are you?” he asked.

“40,” Batman replied, lowballing the number a little.

Joker scoffed and chuckled, running his fingers through his hair. “You are way younger than me.”

“How much younger?” Batman asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

Joker let out a hiss, his eyes darting away as he spoke, “Well, when you were learning to walk, I was… learning how to pay my taxes.”

Batman let a smirk come to his face, “I’m surprised you learned to pay taxes.”

Joker shrugged, “Eh, it didn’t really stick.” His eyes hovered on Batman for a moment, “But enough about that, I’m here to fuck you until you’re _screaming_ , not talk your ear off about how dumb taxes are."

Batman felt that familiar tug in his gut at the change of Jokers tone. “Either one sounds fun,” he said, a weak smile coming to him.

“I know right,” Joker smirked. He moved to lay down on the bed, “I want to watch you get undressed,” he paused for a moment, “Go slowly.”

Batman raised an eyebrow, if he didn’t know better he’d think Joker was trying to figure out how to really undo his armour. He stood at the foot of the bed, looking down at Joker for a moment before beginning to unclip the armour plates that covered his body.

“You wanna keep the boots on?” Joker asked.

Batman couldn’t tell if that were actually a question or not. “I’ll keep them on if you’d like.”

Joker shrugged, “I don’t really mind.”

“Then I’ll take them off,” Batman said as he unclipped his boots, kicking them off across the room.

He peeled off the last of his armour, letting it drop onto the floor.

Joker shifted on the bed, smiling, “Let me look at you.”

Batman stepped closer to the bed, goose bumps raising on his skin as he felt Joker’s eyes trail over him.

“Don’t you look good,” Joker growled. He reached out his hand to grab Batman’s arm, pulling him down to kiss at his skin.

Batman followed Joker down to the bed, kissing his shoulder and neck, working his way to Joker’s lips, “You look good too,” he said against them.

He slowly trailed his fingers down Joker’s chest and stomach, feeling his breath leave him and his muscles twitch at the touch.

“You feel good,” Batman growled.

Joker smirked, “Oh just you wait, Bats.” His voice was quiet and wanting, Batman could tell he’d been waiting for this, he’d been waiting for this as much as Batman had, he was barely trying to hide it.

Batman dragged his fingers over Joker’s crotch, feeling the skin beneath his fingers. He wrapped his fingers loosely around Joker’s cock and stroked him slowly, a small jolt coming from him as he did.

Joker let out a weak moan, his eyes lidding, “A whole night of this,” he said quietly.

Batman hummed softly, continuing to run his hand over Joker’s dick. Slowly he moved himself on the bed, leaning down to give Joker soft kisses, starting at his jaw and working his way towards his chest, kissing at his nipples.

Joker let out a soft pant, his eyes following Batman as he moved, he smiled, showing his teeth, “You’ll have to be a little rougher than that, darling, my nerve ending were a little dulled in my accident.”

Batman paused, looking up at Joker again, his mind jumped back to the bruise on Joker’s stomach a few weeks ago, “Accident?” he said, confused.

Joker chuckled, his eyes rolling in derision, “When I fell into the acid, sweetheart. I thought everyone knew about that.”

Batman glanced away, feeling almost embarrassed, as if he’d offended him or done soingthing foolish. He let out a soft huff and turned his attention back to Joker’s body, his mouth met Joker’s nipple again, he sucked hard on it, letting his teeth graze his skin.

Joker let out a loud groan at the sensation, “That’s more like it, Bats.” He moved his hand lazily over Batman’s skin, brushing his crotch before moving back to his chest.

Batman let out a soft moan against Joker’s skin as he felt him touch him, he gave Joker a soft bite and moved his mouth downward again, leaving messy kisses on him as he reached Joker’s crotch, nestling himself between Joker’s legs. He pumped his dick lazily, his eyes fixing on it for a moment, letting Joker squirm in anticipation.

Slowly he placed his lips on the tip of Joker’s cock, dragging his tongue over the sensitive skin. He pushed his mouth over the head and down his shaft, tightening his lips around him, looking up at him to watch his reaction.

Joker let out a low groan, his mouth hanging open as his eyes met Batman. “Do you have any idea how hot you look, Batsy.”

Batman pulled off, slowly, licking his lips as he began stroking Joker’s cock again, his eyes still on him, “I know I’m hot,” he said after a moment, “And I’m all yours, Joker.”

Joker chuckled weakly, trying to hide how much Batman was making him shudder. “You don’t have to play it up like that, Bats, be yourself.”

Batman felt a slight weight leave him as Joker spoke, he suddenly felt a lot more relaxed. His eyes flit back down to Joker’s cock, he let out a soft groan at the sight of precome beading at the tip. He lowered his mouth again to slowly lick it off, sliding Joker’s cock back into his mouth, letting it hit the back of his throat as he reached Joker’s base.

He moaned loudly as Joker thrust up into his mouth, he tightened his lips again and pressed his tongue against Joker’s shaft, bobbing his head slowly.

“Bats, that’s so good,” Joker groaned, “I could do this all night.”

Batman let out a weak moan, he moved his hand down from the base of Joker’s cock, running it over his balls and dragging his finger tip over Joker’s hole. Joker let out a whine at the feeling, and another as Batman pushed his finger in, grabbing at the sheets of the bed as the finger thrust deeper into him.

He moved his finger teasingly slow, arching it slightly in hopes of hitting Joker’s prostate.

Joker squirmed at his touch, bucking up into his mouth again. “Oh, Batsy, that’s-that’s…” he let out a soft whine, “You really know what you’re doing.”

Batman gave a soft hum onto Joker’s dick in agreement, feeling him twitch beneath him as he did. He picked up the pace of his finger, moving his thumb to massage his balls clumsily.

Joker hissed, kicking out, his mouth hanging open and his eyes closed, “Ah, Batman, that’s so good, that’s so good!”

Batman continued, bobbing his head and massaging Joker with his hand, hearing Joker’s sweet moans and whines, letting them fill his head. He could feel his cock twitching in response to Joker’s noises, he shifted himself on the bed so that his cock rubbed against the sheets, hoping that the friction would relieve him a little.

Unfortunately it did the opposite and his head began to swim, he wanted nothing more than to force his dick into Joker’s eager hole and hear more of those noises from him.

He groaned weakly onto Joker’s cock as it thrust down his throat, the sour taste his precome left spurring him on. He turned his wanting eyes upwards, meeting Joker’s.

Joker stared back down at him, loud breaths leaving him, his eyes were glazed, darting between Batman and his leaking cock. “This is fucking perfect,” Joker growled out, “You’re so fucking perfect, Bats, you’re so hot, you look so good sucking on my dick.” He smiled at Batman’s reaction to his words, the soft hungry grunts coming from him, his cock twitching.

“I want to come down your throat,” he said, gritting his teeth.

Batman let out another weak groan and sped himself up, giving Joker the go-ahead, he moved his hand a little, continuing to brush his finger against Joker’s prostate.

He looked up at Joker and watched his face as he came into his mouth, moaning at the taste of it, pulling away slowly, sucking softly on his tip and swallowing the salty liquid.

Joker moaned softly, his body relaxing, loud pants leaving him. He bit his lip as he looked down at Batman. “That was good,” he groaned, his eyes fixing on Batman’s hard length, “But it doesn’t look like you got to where you needed to go.”

“This isn’t about me,” Batman said, a slight strain to his voice.

Joker let out a chuckle, “Wouldn’t that be nice if it were true.” He bit his lip, “You know you want to fuck me, Batman,” he growled as if he were trying to imitate Batman’s voice. “You know you want to stick that thing in me and fill me up.”

Batman looked Joker up and down, he couldn’t say Joker wasn’t right, the man’s sweaty naked body called to him, he looked so good. “Wouldn’t that be uncomfortable for you?” he asked, his last attempt at a protest.

Joker shrugged, smiling, “Probably, but that’s part of the fun, isn’t it?” He reached out, grabbing listlessly at Batman’s arms, “Just put your gorgeous cock in me already,” his smile widened, “I’m asking you to do it because I want you to do it, Batman.”

Batman swallowed hard and nodded, he lifted himself to his knees and shifted closer to Joker, pressing his tip against Joker’s hole, it took him easily to his hilt. He let out a moan as he watched Joker take him, the feeling of him making him shudder.

Joker groaned and squirmed on the bed, looking up at him intently. “You like that?” he asked breathlessly.

Batman nodded, his eyes moving up to Joker’s face, “Yeah I do,” he replied, his mouth hanging open. He began to rock his hips back and forth, his head spinning as Joker began to hiss and moan. “You feel so good Joker.”

“Yeah?” Joker whined, “I feel good?”

Batman nodded, “You-you feel so good…” he stuttered, soft breaths leaving him as he started to thrust into him.

Joker let out another whine, his nails digging into the bed, he lifted his legs and wrapped them around Batman’s waist.

Gradually Batman began to increase his speed, not wanting to go too fast and come too early, he wanted to drag it out, make it feel as good as possible. Joker’s legs squeezed around him, making his hole tighten, Batman couldn’t help moaning, the noise coming out louder than he’d intended.

“Fuck me,” Joker growled quietly, “You feel so fucking good, keep fucking me.”

Batman looked over him, he couldn’t get over how good Joker looked.

He would never have imagined that this would happen, that he would let it come this far, but he was so glad that he had. It felt so natural, how well they fit together.

He leant over, moving his hand behind Joker’s head and pulling him up into a soft and passionate kiss, moaning quietly. Joker’s tongue dipped into his mouth, groaning at the taste of himself. He shifted slightly underneath Batman, his hand moving to stroke his cock slowly.

The movement made a smile come to Batman’s lips, their kiss softening and their moans growing louder.

“I don’t think I’ll come again,” Joker said against Batman’s lips, “It just feels nice.”

Joker’s tone was odd, as if what he said was a confession of some sort, but Batman knew that was Joker’s way of telling him not to take longer than he might need in hopes of making Joker come again, that wasn’t what he wanted though. He wanted Joker to come again.

He lifted himself back to his knees, slowing his hips, he pushed Joker’s hand away from his cock and took it in his own hand, stroking it a little slower than Joker had been.

He pushed into him slowly, pulling out equally slow until only an inch or so remained inside him, repeating the movements while playing with Joker’s dick.

Joker let out a hiss, gritting his teeth and tipping his head back. “Oh, Batman,” he whined, “You-you don’t-“

“I’m going to make you come again, Joker,” Batman stated, his voice almost a purr, “I want to feel you come.”

Joker moaned and whimpered, biting his lip softly as Batman squeezed and stroked him, beads of sweat running down his reddened skin.

Batman panted softly, watching Joker squirm beneath him, the sight turned him on more than anything else could. He thrust into Joker, moving his hand faster on him, he could tell it was uncomfortable for him, but Joker had said that part of the fun was in the discomfort of it, so that was what Batman planned to make him feel.

“Bats,” he whined out, a weak laugh leaving him, “You-you bitch.”

“You want me to stop?” Batman asked teasingly.

Joker shook his head, “No,” he moaned, “Keep going, make me come.”

Batman groaned softly at Joker’s enthusiasm, pumping Joker a little faster, pounding faster into him. He moved his free hand to Joker’s chest, beginning to pinch and rub at one of his nipples.

Joker gasped at the action, his teeth gritting tight and his hands grabbing desperately at the bedsheets. He used his legs to move with Batman’s thrusts, trying to pull him deeper.

He moaned, squeezing his legs tighter around Batman’s waist. He bucked up softly into Batman’s hand, urging him to move it faster. “I think I’m close, keep going, keep going.”

Batman moved his hips faster, groaning softly as he felt Joker’s body twitching. His head began to spin and his vision started spotting as he felt Joker come, heard him moaning and screaming. He buckled over, panting loudly, watching pleasure fill Joker’s face.

“Joker,” he groaned, his body tensing as he came.

Joker let out another loud moan, lifting his hand to run his fingers over Batman’s arm, smiling as Batman slowed and began to pull out.

“Oh… darling, that was _good_ ,” he said weakly, smiling up at him.

Batman nodded, lowering himself on the bed beside Joker. “I would have taken longer,” he said, panting softly, “Felt too good.”

Joker chuckled, “It’s good to test your limits,” he smiled. He rolled on his side, he let out a soft hiss and looked Batman up and down, “You really did a number on me.”

“That was the idea,” Batman smirked. “Oh!” he exclaimed, he sat up on the bed and reached over the edge, picking up his belt and opening a pocket, pulling out a small packet of cheese crackers, he turned back to Joker and held it out for him, “I brought you this.”

Joker’s eyes lit up at the sight of the small yellow bag, “Aw, Bats, you remembered that I get snacky after sex,” he chuckled, pulling open the bag and popping one into his mouth. “If I didn’t know better I’d say you cared about me.”

Batman’s smirk turned to a weak but genuine smile, “I care about you as much as a sex worker can care about a client.”

“That’s a very professional way of saying it,” Joker chuckled, putting another tiny cheese cracker in his mouth, letting out a soft moan at the taste, “This really hits the spot, Bats,” he smirked, “Not that you didn’t just hit it,” he winked, letting out another small chuckle.

Batman held back a chuckle, he shook his head and let out a soft huff. “We’ve got over half our time left, do you think you could go again?”

Joker laughed, shaking his head, holding out his hand to reinforce it, “No, two was enough for me it seems,” he put his hand behind his head, “I kind of want to have a nap, if I’m honest,” he smirked, “But if you want another round I’m sure I can accommodate you.”

Batman shook his head, settling down on the bed and wrapping his arm around Joker, pulling him closer, “You can nap if you want to.”

Joker snorted, nuzzling against Batman’s side, “Being paid to watch me nap, you’ve got the easiest job in the world, don’t you Bats?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a long chapter (for me at least) and I'm proud of myself.


	8. Chapter 8

Batman lay in bed, Joker clinging tight to his side. Tonight had played out the same as the one before it; Batman had entered, they’d chatted a little, then they’d had sex, and Joker had fallen asleep in Batman’s arms.

He, however, found it hard to sleep, he had the previous time too. He didn’t trust Joker enough to sleep next to him, he feared waking up without his cowl. He doubted Joker would try to take it off, it would ruin the illusion he seemed so intent on keeping up. But still he couldn’t sleep.

Instead he lay with his eyes closed, relaxing, practically meditating as he let his body recover. Joker stirred at his side and his eyes jumped open, he looked down at Joker, he seemed to be still asleep.

He wondered if the rest of the night would play out the same way too. He smiled as he felt Joker’s hand moving under the covers, it seemed like it would.

Joker’s hand trailed down Batman’s torso, his fingers dragging teasingly over his crotch.

Batman let out a soft moan, looking down at Joker. He had a weak smile on his face, it seemed as if he were trying to hide the fact that he was awake.

This was exactly what he’d done the last time.

Another moan left Batman’s lips as Joker gripped his cock weakly, stroking it slowly, rubbing his thumb over Batman’s tip.

“I had a dream you left,” Joker said quietly, still pretending to sleep, “You’d gone off to fight some lowlife.”

Batman shook his head, licking his lips absently as Joker continued to play with him. “I wouldn’t do that,” he mumbled, “I said you get me for 6 hours, I don’t intend to leave before my time’s up.”

“You’re Batman,” Joker smiled, “Something’s bound to come up sometime.”

“If something did happen I wouldn’t just leave, I’d tell you first.”

Joker’s grip loosened on Batman’s cock, and he moved his hand to his hip, hugging him softly, “Good boy.”

Batman turned his head to kiss Joker’s forehead. “I didn’t know that was a fear of yours.”

“Abandonment?” Joker chuckled, only now opening his eyes, “Only lonely people fear abandonment.”

“So, you’re not a lonely person?” Batman asked, moving his hand to lazily brush Joker’s skin.

Joker shuddered at Batman’s touch, biting his lip, “Of course not. Wanting you here is as close as I’ve ever come to needing someone.”

Batman shifted closer to Joker on the bed, pressing his hip gently against his crotch, feeling him hard against him. “And why do you want me here?” he growled, a hint of lust to his tone.

Joker thrust softly against Batman’s hip, letting out a quiet hum, “You know exactly why.” He leaned in to kiss his shoulder, moving his hand back to rub Batman’s crotch again.

“But you could get this from anyone, it doesn’t have to be me.”

Joker bit his lip, his eyes drifting over Batman’s face. There seemed to be a conflict behind his eyes.

After a moment he let out a soft breath, “I’m going to come clean with you here, Bats,” he smiled, pulling away a little, “This is something I’ve been doing for _years_. As I said before there are _hundreds_ of people willing to dress up as Batman and do _whatever_ I want.” He rolled his eyes and let out a weak huff, “It’s surprising what people will do for a few hundred bucks. I can’t stand them for more than a few times.” The smile on his lips softened, “But you’re… There’s something so genuine about you. You’re like the real deal. You don’t just do what I want like the others, you do what Batman would do. You even refused to take the money for the first fortnight, that is _so_ Batman.” He pulled himself close to Batman again, “I’m hanging on to you for as long as you’ll let me.”

Batman felt his chest tighten a little, he didn’t like lying when Joker was being so open with him.

“I’m content with that,” he decided on saying.

“Really?” Joker smirked, “You’re not even a tiny bit upset about the multiple batman-impersonators I’ve had in my bed before?”

Batman glanced away, this at least he could be honest about, “I can’t say it doesn’t make me a little jealous, but you’re with me now, the others don’t matter.”

Joker gave a tittered laugh and leant in to kiss Batman, lifting his hand to cup his face as he did. “You’re certainly better than the rest were.” He let out a gentle sigh, nuzzling and kissing Batman again, “I wish you could stay here forever.”

Batman let himself smile, “You’ve got me for a few more hours.”

Joker grunted and nodded, “I’d better make the best of that short time.”

Batman bit his lip, his heart thudding in his chest, “I…” he started slowly, “I could stay the whole night? I could make a call and tell the rest of my team I’ll be mia until morning.”

Joker’s eyes shone, every feature on his face seemed to grow with excitement. “You could?” he squeaked, letting excitement show in his voice too.

Batman nodded, the small smile on his face widening, “I can ask, they might need me, but it should be no trouble. If not I can extend my stay next time, I did say you could have one full day a month.”

Joker shifted in the bed, kicking his legs out to tear the cover from Batman, revealing his naked frame. “Go on then,” he said, still excited, “Now! That’s an order young man!”

Batman nodded and slid himself out of bed, feeling the unpleasant sensation of come and lube drip down his legs from what they’d done earlier. He located his belt and picked it up, hoping Joker might think a phone was in there, and he walked into the bathroom, locking it behind him.

This was the first time he’d had a moment to himself that night, he let out a soft sigh as he pressed the call button on his cowl and began to clean himself, wiping the residue of sex off him as he listened to the intercom buzzing.

“Batman,” Alfred said, sounding slightly panicked, “I thought we wouldn’t be hearing from you until past 2, has something happened?”

Batman shook his head absently, “No, everything’s fine, I wanted to see how busy everyone is tonight.”

Alfred let out a soft sigh of relief, “Thank god, sir, you had me worried…” he huffed slightly, “Let’s see,” he said to himself, “It’s quite quiet tonight. Were you hoping to stay out of contact longer tonight, sir?”

Batman bit his lip, “If it were possible.”

Alfred’s tone lowered, Batman could hear the smile on his face, “I’m sure no one will miss you, sir. How much longer were you planning on staying with him?”

“Until morning, if you’re sure I won’t be missed.”

“Very rare for you to extend a date, sir. Usually you’re cutting them short or cancelling them. This man must be very special to you.”

Batman felt himself blush, his heartbeat quickening at the thought, he felt bad enough lying to Alfred about who he was seeing. “We are getting close.”

“I’m glad you’re having fun, sir. Take all the time you need, if something happens we’ll call you.”

“Thankyou,” Batman said, hanging up. He let out a breath and closed his eyes, he didn’t like misleading Alfred, but he knew there was no way he would accept what was happening between Joker and him. He knew this was for the best.

He finished cleaning himself up and unlocked the door, opening the door to see Joker lounging on the bed, stroking himself.

“I can stay until morning,” Batman informed him.

Joker let out a short triumphant laugh, “Yes!” he said loudly, “Come here and let’s _celebrate_.”

Batman let out a huff, amused, and walked to the bed, staring down at Joker and watching him play with himself.

“You look good,” he growled.

“As do you, darling,” Joker smiled.

“How were you thinking of celebrating?” Batman asked, “We don’t have to rush into anything, I’m here another 8 hours.”

Joker chuckled, “Yes, let’s not have sex, let’s play clue instead,” he smirked. “Come here, I feel like _riding_ you.”

Batman raised an eyebrow, “I’m not saying we shouldn’t have sex, I just said we don’t have to rush.”

“So,” Joker began, a soft coo to his voice, “You’re thinking of… slow passionate love making..?” he smirked, “I didn’t know you had it in you.”

Batman’s face fell a little, his heart jumping to his throat at Joker’s soft tone. He opened his mouth to speak, but Joker interrupted him.

“-Oh, you are so cute.” He slapped Batman arm, “Just sit on the bed and let me fuck you.”

Batman looked down at him, feeling himself relax slightly. “We’ll need more lube,” he said after a moment.

Joker raised an eyebrow, “I don’t need it,” he said dismissively.

“We’ll need more lube,” Batman repeated, “I don’t want to wear you out too much.”

Joker chuckled softly, giving a weak nod, “Ok, ok. If you insist, Batman.”

Batman sat on the bed, taking the bottle of lube from the bedside table and pouring some onto himself, spreading it over his cock, hissing softly at the coolness of it.

Joker’s eyes lingered on Batman’s crotch as he moved across the bed towards him, he bit his lips softly, “You are the sexiest man alive and you know it, don’t you?” He lifted himself and swung his leg over Batman, pushing him to lay down and pinning him to the bed. He shifted himself slowly, grinding down against Batman’s crotch, slowly pushed himself down onto the tip of his cock.

Batman’s toes curled, scratching at the old carpet. He looked up at Joker almost helplessly, keeping eye contact as Joker sank down onto him.

Joker let out a weak hum as he reached Batman’s base, “You’re so cute,” he said again, his smile wide as he began to rock on Batman’s hips.

Batman groaned and bucked his hips upwards, his mouth hung open. He ran his hands over Joker’s hips, scratching softly at his skin, pulling him down onto himself.

Joker bit his lip, his noises almost mimicking Batman’s groans. “Yeah,” he said, his voice pitching, “Get it all in me, Bats,” he keened softly, “I want _everything_ you’ve got.”

Batman thrust up again, watching as Joker’s head tipped back, his mouth open and his tongue peeking between his teeth.

“Joker,” Batman growled, “You feel so good.”

Joker began to rise and fall on him, soft grunts and groans leaving him as he picked up the pace. “Yeah? You like how my ass feels, Bats?”

Batman nodded, his eyes flitting down to watch Joker bounce on him.

“Tell me you like it, tell me my ass feels good,” Joker purred, “Talk to me, Batsy.”

Batman moved his hand slowly, wrapping his fingers around Joker’s shaft and stroking him slowly. His gaze shifted back up to look Joker in the eye, his expression was glazed and hazy, as if he were lost in pleasure.

“Your ass feels good, Joker,” Batman said quietly, “You look so good riding me.”

Joker moaned weakly, panting softly, his movements slowed as he repositioned, his arm moving back, pushing his hand between Batman’s legs and prodding a finger at his hole.

Batman let out a gasp as Joker stroked at him, his grip on Joker’s cock tightening. “Joker that’s… Keep-keep going.”

“Keep talking to me, Bats,” Joker ordered, pressing his fingertip into Batman’s hole.

Batman bit his lip, “Joker” he breathed, “Keep fucking me, that feels so good. You feel so amazing.”

Joker’s finger pushed further into him, his bounces grew faster again as he thrust his finger faster.

“Amazing..?” Joker smiled.

Batman nodded, his legs kicking out as Joker’s finger brushed his prostate. “Am-amazing,” he repeated, “Joker, you’re the best I’ve ever had.”

Joker let put a weak breathy laugh, smiling down at Batman, his hips bucking into Batman’s hand. “The-the best?” He closed his eyes, thrusting his finger and bouncing on Batman’s cock, “High praise.”

“You’re amazing,” Batman growled, not able to say much else. He thrust upwards into Joker, grunting and moaning, his hand pumping Joker’s dick faster. His head was beginning to spin, Joker’s finger was pushing him to his edge.

“I’m close,” he whined, his voice breaking.

Joker nodded, speeding himself up, “Let me feel it,” he moaned, “Fill me up, Bats. Come for me.”

As Joker spoke Batman felt himself come, spilling into him, moaning loudly as he did, his hand faltering as it moved on Joker’s cock.

Joker let out a long drawn out moan, his bounces slowed and he began rocking on him again, taking Batman’s hand by the wrist and urging him to move faster, he whined loudly as he came onto Batman’s hand, panting softly as his orgasm ebbed out.

“I liked that,” he groaned, flopping down on the bed next to Batman.

Batman nodded, unable to speak or move more than that.

“We’ve gotta do that again before you leave,” Joker added, kissing him on the cheek.

Batman nodded again, managing to lift a hand to wipe his forehead. “We’ve got time to do it a few more times. As much as you want.”

Joker smiled, settling into the bed. “Did you mean it? I am I really the best you’ve ever had?”

Batman let out a breath, nodding weakly after a moment of thought, “I think so.”

Joker’s smile widened, “I guess all my years of training have paid off.” He lifted himself on the bed and moved under the covers, reaching out to give Batman’s arm a soft tug, “Come on, you need some more rest.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end isnt as good as I wanted it to be because my cat kept jumping on the keyboard and being very distracting...


	9. Chapter 9

Joker smiled up at Batman from the bed, the covers strewn over him, hugging the pillow Batman had been using. His eyes followed Batman unblinking as he wandered around, dressing himself.

The first time Joker had done this Batman had felt a little uncomfortable, but it was nice, he didn’t have to rush to leave, he could take his time, chat and eat something before leaving.

It felt so relaxed and natural, like this was how they were supposed to interact. He wished it could stay like this, but he knew that as soon as he left that everything would switch back to that fucked up version of ‘normal’ that they’d been operating under for years.

A fantasy had developed in his head over the past week or so, in which they’d come across each other outside of this place and decide to go to dinner together, they’d spend time together, talking and laughing, in public. But that would never happen, if they saw each other outside of this room they would be at each other’s throats within minutes.

He wished it didn’t have to be that way, he wished he could tell Joker the truth of who he was, but he knew that rather than losing the fighting they’d lose this.

“So, what are you plans for the day, Bats?” Joker asked from his comfy spot on the bed, smiling.

Batman glanced at him, clipping his armour into place. “I have some detective work to do, Nightwing’s asked me to look over a case for him.”

Joker chuckled, “What are you really doing?” he asked, “Out of character.”

Batman felt his face turn blank. He’d told Joker the truth, he was helping Nightwing with a case, he didn’t have any other plans. “That is what I’m doing,” he said shortly.

Joker scoffed, rolling his eyes, “Ok, ok, I get it, you want to keep professional distance, even though I’m the best sex you’ve ever had and you’re practically in love with me.” He let out a soft huff, “Well, today I’m going to the docks to meet up with some friends, and we’re going to the carnival. Gunna have a lot of fun.”

“I’m jealous,” Batman smirked, “I haven’t been to a carnival in years, not to have fun at least.”

Joker let out a weak titter, “I bet you go there to pick up dads, I bet you’re a real homewrecker.”

“I suppose you could say that,” Batman said, a soft huffed chuckle leaving him.

“Maybe I could take you one time,” Joker smiled, “Show you how you’re meant to enjoy a carnival.”

Batman raised an eyebrow, “Considering who you are, I wouldn’t say that would bode well for me.”

“You’d certainly leave with a smile on your face,” Joker said, his smile turning into an inhuman looking grin.

“I do that anyway,” Batman replied, a soft smile on his face as he looked down at Joker. He let out a weak breath, the smile fading from him, “Do you think you would ever consider giving up your life of crime? Settling down with someone?”

His stomach twisted as he spoke, he knew he wouldn’t get the answer he wanted, and the idea of hearing that out loud made him feel nauseous. He wasn’t sure why he’d asked.

Joker chuckled, “Oh, darling. I’d love to say yes, but I’ve got a feeling I’m going to go down fighting. Die at your hand, I hope, you’re someone who’ll treat me with dignity and respect.”

Batman’s eyes closed for a moment, that’s what he’d been expecting. “Wouldn’t it be nice though? To give up and… I don’t know, go and live on a farm in your last years.”

Joker frowned at him. “You don’t have to be so serious, Bats, lets just enjoy this while it lasts.” He shifted on the bed and lifted himself to his knees, reaching out to pull Batman closer.

“I suppose I shouldn’t have brought it up,” Batman said, leaning in to Joker’s touch.

Joker looked him up and down, still frowning, “Oh, honey, you’ve gotten yourself all down in the dumps. Come here.” He grabbed an ear of Batman’s cowl and pulled him down to kiss him.

Batman wrapped his gloved hands around Joker’s shoulders, moaning softly against Joker’s lips as they kissed, he felt warmth filling him, his body relaxing.

“Sorry for bringing it up,” he said quietly.

Joker smiled, “You don’t have to be sorry, it’s cute to see you worrying for me. You’ve got to learn to enjoy the moment.”

Batman let out a soft hum, “I’m enjoying this moment.”

Joker chuckled softly, “That’s a good start.” He cleared his throat, pulling out of the kiss and looking up at Batman, “Do you have to leave now?”

Batman huffed and nodded, “I do. I’ll be back Thursday night.”

“Th-Thursday? I though you were coming tomorrow night,” Joker asked, sounding slightly shocked.

Batman shook his head, “No, I’ve got plans.”

“Plans?” Joker scoffed, “Not another ‘client’ I hope.”

Batman shook his head again, his stomach churned, he couldn’t tell Joker what he was really doing, “No, I told you, I’m only seeing you.”

“Then why can’t you come tomorrow?” Joker demanded, his brow furrowing.

Batman shifted on his feet, pulling away a little. “I’ve got to fight crime sometime. You don’t have to worry.”

Joker grit his teeth, letting out a growl. He sat back down on the bed, crossing his arms.

“Don’t worry,” Batman repeated.

“Please tell me what you’re really doing,” Joker whined softly, his tone filled with sadness.

Batman grit his teeth, “I don’t…” he closed his eyes for a moment, deciding to tell at least part of the truth. “Joker, I’m a father,” he confessed. “I have children to look after.”

“Children?” Joker muttered, looking him up and down, “As in multiple?” he let out a weak breath. “So, are you gay for pay or something?”

Batman shook his head, “No, I’m bisexual.”

“Are you in a relationship?” Joker said, his voice almost a whisper.

Batman shook his head, “No, I’m a single father.”

Joker nodded, seeming to relax a little, he raised an eyebrow, “So who’s looking after your kids now?”

Batman felt his gut twitch. “That’s… this is getting a little personal.”

“Come on,” Joker cooed, “Everything about me is public knowledge, I don’t really know anything about you.”

“That’s because you’re a wanted criminal and I’m not,” Batman remarked.

“Touché…” Joker smirked, “I just want to make sure they’re not being neglected.”

Batman cleared his throat, “They’re not, their grandfather is looking after them.”

“It sounds like you’ve got a nice homelife,” Joker smiled. He moved to leave the bed, walking towards the dresser, sticking his hand into the bag of snacks that sat there. Batman’s eyes followed him as he pulled out a bag of gummy bears.

“Give these to your kids, from me,” he said, holding out the bag for Batman to take, “As an apology for taking so much of their father’s precious time.”

Batman glanced down at the bag, then back up at Joker. “I’m not taking those,” he said.

“Oh, are you a vegetarian or something?”

Batman frowned, letting out a soft growl as he took the sweets, he looked over the bag, checking if it had been tampered with in any way. It seemed to be as standard. He put the bag inside one of his pockets, looking back up at Joker.

“That’s for the kids,” Joker smirked, leaning up to give Batman a soft kiss, slipping his hand into one of Batman’s belt pockets, “And that’s for you.”

Batman’s frown deepened, he moved to put his hand into his pocket, Joker had put something in there.

Joker slapped his hand away, “Ah ah, that’s a little _surprise_ for later,” he winked.

Batman huffed, making a mental note to check his pocket in the car, and do some tests on the gummy bears back at the cave, just to be sure.

“Ok,” he said after a moment. He leaned in to return Joker’s kiss, “I’ll see you on Thursday,” he said as he pulled away, “I’m sorry it can’t be sooner.” He glanced down, taking one last long look at Joker, “I’m going to miss you.”

Joker smiled widely, his lips splitting his face in half, a soft blush coming to his cheeks. “I’m going to miss you too. Thursday seems like a long way away.”

Batman swayed on the spot, part of him really didn’t want to leave. “I’m sure it’ll fly by.”

“I hope so,” Joker cooed, closing the small gap between them and draping his arms around Batman’s neck, “You know I don’t like being bored.”

Batman bit his lips, letting out a breath. “Well… you have my number. If you start feeling bored you can text me, I might be able to drop by for… half an hour or so?”

Joker nodded, “I’d like that.”

Batman closed his eyes, breathing in Joker’s scent, letting out a deep sigh. “I have to go,” he said quietly.

“Yeah,” Joker purred. He pulled away, giving Batman’s arm a soft shove, “Go on then, darling. You don’t want to keep your little ones waiting.”

Batman nodded and stepped away, turning to leave.

He sat down in the Batmobile a minute or so later, he let out a breath and felt himself deflate. He bit his lip as he dug through the pocket Joker had tampered with. He frowned as he pulled out a folded piece of paper.

He let out a low groan as he unfolded it, revealing a very lewd picture of Joker. On the bed of the hotel room they’d just been in, his face was twisted in pleasure, precome dribbling down his cock and tangling in the green hair at the base of it, a large glass dildo filling his hole.

The image caused a tug in Batman’s gut, he let out another soft groan and closed his eyes, he could feel himself hardening inside his armour. He chewed his lip, moaning softly, his eyes fixed on the photo. He unclipped the armour on his crotch to free himself, letting out another soft groan. He wrapped his gloved hand around his cock and stroked himself, his breath jolting, his eyes still stuck on the picture.

He’d never thought to imagine Joker using toys on himself, he wondered when Joker had taken this picture. What he’d been doing while Joker did this.

He let himself think of it as he stroked himself, the noises Joker would have made, the way his body would have moved and twitched as he fucked himself.

“Joker,” he breathed quietly, the possible images playing behind his eyes. He wished he had a video of it to watch rather than images. He’d ask for one in the future, he knew it’d look even better in real life. This was just like Joker, to give a taste of something before giving him the real thing.

He opened his eyes again, looking back down at the picture, studying every inch of Joker’s writhing body. He moaned loudly, his hand quickening on himself. He could almost see Joker’s movements in the photo, thrusting the dildo into himself, stroking his cock till he came over himself.

He bucked his hips upwards, thrusting into his hand, squeezing himself tight and pumping himself.

“Fuck, Joker,” he said to himself, imagining Joker playing with the dildo. He grit his teeth, letting out another moan as he came into his own hand.

He tipped his head back on his seat, panting quietly, blinking slowly as he felt himself relax. He licked his lips and clipped his armour back together, wiping his hand off on his cape.

He pressed the button on the dashboard, calling the batcave.

“Alfred,” he said, sounding almost happy.

“Batman,” Alfred replied, returning Batman’s happy tone, “You’re reporting in a little late, I take it that means you had a good night?”

Batman nodded, “I did, actually. Anything to report.”

“Well, there was a Riddler sighting, but we lost track of him. Still no sign of Joker or Twoface, hopefully they’re not working together.”

Batman grunted, “I don’t think so, Harvey would have learned from last time.”

Alfred let out a soft hum, “Yes, that did turn out to be quite a mess for him.”

“I’m on my way home now. We’ll discuss it more then.”

“Certainly, sir,” Alfred said, “I’ll see you in a few minutes.”


	10. Chapter 10

Bruce looked over at Dick and Damian, letting out a soft chuckle as he listened to them bicker across the table. He had taken them out for lunch at a café, not long after sitting down they’d started arguing about who had the better food.

Damian turned his head, frowning, “Don’t laugh father, this is important.” He picked up two slices of cake, “Which would you rather have?”

Dick shook his head, holding out his hand to stop Damian, “Don’t bring him and his bad taste into this. Vanilla buttercream is better, if you want chocolate you can just eat some chocolate, it’s not like you can eat a vanilla pod.”

Bruce looked between them, smiling weakly, “I actually have to agree with you, Dick. Have you ever tried to eat a vanilla pod, Damian? They are disgusting.”

Damian scoffed, raising an eyebrow as he looked back at his father, “I also agree with Dick; you really do have bad taste.” He crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair.

Dick smirked, glancing at Bruce, they knew that meant he had won.

Bruce jolted as his phone buzzed. He pulled it out as the two boys began to eat their cake.

Joker:  
I’ve run out of things to do :C I think I’m getting bored

He smiled as he texted back, absently taking a piece of cake and taking a mouthful.

Batman:  
Sorry to hear that. Why don’t you play with those toys of yours?

Joker:  
You can’t come over?

Batman:  
No, I told you I’m busy.

Joker didn’t reply immediately, Bruce let out a soft huff and took another bite of cake.

After a moment his phone buzzed again, Bruce rolled his eyes and looked back down at it.

His eyes widened at the message. Joker had sent a photo, similar to the one he’d slipped into Batman’s pocket.

Dick raised his eyebrow from across the table. “You alright Bruce? You look like you saw a ghost.”

Bruce stowed his phone back into his pocket, looking up at Dick and shaking his head, “No, I’m fine. Uh.” He glanced between Dick and Damian, “I need a moment.” He lifted himself to his feet and made his way to the bathroom.

He sat down in one of the stalls and pulled his phone back out, getting the photo up again, he felt a tug in his groin as he looked it over. He clicked the picture to enlarge it, and jumped as it began to move.

The gif played on a loop. Joker laid on the bed, pushing a dildo into himself, his body convulsing as he did.

Bruce let out a soft growl, he undid his pants and pulled his cock out, running his fingers over it slowly. He took a picture of himself and sent it to Joker.

Batman:   
Now look what you’ve done.

Joker:  
Oh dear. If only you were here to put it to good use.

Batman:  
It doesn’t look like you need it.

He let out a deep breath, closing his eyes. He pushed himself back into his pants and stood up, arranging himself so his boner didn’t show.

He had prior commitments, he couldn’t let Joker manipulate him.

Batman:  
Joker, I’m out with my children.

Joker:   
Leave them with a baby sitter. Don’t make me send another picture!!

Batman:  
Send as many as you want, I’ll let you know what I think of them once I get home tonight.

Joker sent a video, at the sight of it Bruce bit his lip, letting out a weak growl. He played the video on low volume, watching Joker fuck himself, straining his ears to hear his moans.

“Bats,” Joker groaned, the word raising the hairs on the back of Bruce’s neck.

“Fuck,” Bruce growled to himself, his eyes closing again, he leant against the wall of the stall, banging his head against it softly.

He looked down at his phone, watching the video play through again, his groin twitching with want as he listened to Joker moan his name again.

He grumbled to himself as he texted back.

Batman:  
I can be there in 10 minutes.

Joker:  
Great! I’ll try not to finish without you.

Bruce grit his teeth as he walked back out to the table, a sour look on his face.

“You gotta go?” Dick asked, not so much as looking up from his cake.

Bruce let out a huff, “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice low.

Dick shrugged, “It’s alright, life of a high-powered millionaire business man isn’t easy.”

Bruce looked between them, “Are you going to be ok getting home?”

Dick nodded, “Yeah, Bruce, we’ll be fine, don’t you worry. Don’t stay too late though, me and Damian are watching the Incredibles whether you’re there or not.”

“Damian and I,” Damian interjected from his seat, playing with the icing on his cake. He looked up at Bruce, “Pick up popcorn on your way home.”

Bruce nodded, giving Damian a pat on the arm, “No problem. I’ll see you later. Try not to cause any trouble.” He smiled back at the pair as he walked towards the car.

As he drove to the hotel his phone buzzed again, he glanced down at it to see another video from Joker. He turned the volume up this time, letting Joker’s moans fill the car, he watched it through the corner of his eye, Joker teasing himself with the tip of the dildo.

“Batsy, hurry,” he whined, “I don’t know how much longer I’ll last.”

Bruce moaned quietly to himself, his cock straining in his pants.

He parked up outside the hotel and quickly changed himself, the video looping through in the background.

He walked fast to Joker’s hotel room, his heart pounding in his chest and his heart in his throat. The video still played in his head, seeing Joker fuck himself like that was easily the hottest thing he’d ever seen. He hoped he’d be able to see it in real life.

He opened the door to the hotel and stepped in, his eyes widened and his mouth flopped open at the sight of Joker on the bed.

He was fully naked, his head tipped back, moans of extasy leaving him as he played with himself, the dildo hanging untouched from his hole.

“Bats,” he groaned softly, a smile coming to his face. “Help a guy out would ya’?”

A soft breath left Batman’s lips as he walked to him, he bit his lip as he lowered himself to the bed, his crotch throbbing as he took hold of the dildo, pushing it in and pulling it out slowly.

Joker moaned out loudly as Batman pushed it deeper into him. “Oh, Bats that feels good,” he keened, stroking himself slowly, “I’d prefer the real thing, though.”

“But you look so good like this,” Batman groaned quietly, thrusting the dildo into him slowly, easing it deeper.

Joker let out a breathy laugh, “Oh, really? I didn’t realise this was your kind of thing.” He gasped softly as Batman continued to fuck him, his voice quaking slightly, “I ha-have others, Bats. I’ve got a… a whole stock of toys I use on myself all the time.”

Batman’s breath shook and he thrust his hips forward instinctively, his eyes trailing over Joker’s twitching body. “I can’t wait to use them on you too.”

“Next time,” Joker cooed. He hissed softly, his hand moving faster on himself, “We share a kink, Bats, isn’t that hot.”

Batman nodded listlessly, gripping the dildo tighter as he pushed it in to its base, filling Joker’s hole with it. He let out a soft moan as he pulled it out again. He took Joker’s hand and placed it on the end, “Keep going while I get undressed,” he said quietly, “I want to watch you.”

Joker gave a shaky nod, looking up at Batman and pushing the dildo back into himself, panting softly as he did.

“Fuck,” Batman growled as he pulled away, biting his lip again and pulling off the armour that covered his crotch.

Joker’s eyes widened a little as Batman freed himself. “Wow,” he breathed, “You look harder than a rock, Batman. You re-really like watching me do this don’t you.”

Batman nodded, gripping himself tight and stroking his cock slowly.

“I don’t think I can deprive you of this,” Joker smiled, “You love it don’t you, Batsy.”

Batman nodded again, continuing to pump his dick, watching Joker intently.

“You want to watch me come, Bats?” Joker asked.

Again Batman nodded, “Yeah,” he said, almost growling. He wasn’t sure why it turned him on so much, usually he’d be overwhelmed with the want to feel himself inside Joker, but this time it was different, he wanted to keep watching Joker fuck himself, he wanted to watch him come from it.

“I want to watch you come,” Joker said, his smile widening. A soft moan left him as he thrust the dildo into himself again, his eyes fixed on Batman. “Come closer, Bats, I want you to get a good look.”

Batman let out a soft groan, sitting himself between Joker’s feet. He squeezed his cock tight, watching the dildo disappear into Joker’s hole again.

“I want to watch you come, Joker,” he growled.

Joker nodded, “I’ve been doing this for 30 minutes, I’m getting pretty close.”

Batman took the dildo with his spare hand, angling it upwards and moving it in time with his other hand as he stroked himself.

Joker let out a loud moan, his hand speeding up on himself, his mouth opening wide. “Oh, Bats, that’s gunna make me come.”

Batman nodded, “Good. I want to see you come, Joker.”

Joker let out a whine, his head tipping back again, his toes curling.

Batman moaned softly, watching Joker’s come splash up onto his stomach. He let go of the dildo, crawling over Joker to pull him into a deep kiss, his hand moving fast on himself.

“Did that look good?” Joker mumbled against his lips.

Batman nodded, feverish, panting softly into Joker’s mouth. “I’m close,” he said quietly.

Joker smiled, taking Batman’s cock in his hand and pumping it fast, “Come, Bats, do it.”

Batman felt a shiver run through him as he came, his come dripping onto Joker’s stomach, a loud groan leaving him.

They panted in time with one another, exchanging lazy sloppy kisses as they came back to reality. After a moment Batman pulled away, beginning to clip his armour back on.

“In a rush to leave..?” Joker said breathlessly.

Batman nodded, “I’m meant to be spending today with my children.”

Joker frowned, “I’m sorry I had to pull their daddy away. It _was_ urgent.”

“You didn’t really need me here for this,” Batman observed, trying not to sound annoyed although he was, not so much at Joker or the situation, but at the fact he’d broken his word so easily.

“Yes, I did!” Joker smiled, letting out a soft hiss as he removed the dildo from himself, throwing it onto the bed next to him. “It’s never as good when I’m doing it myself, and I like hearing your voice, I like having you here.”

He picked up a tissue from the bedside table, starting to wipe up the come mixing on his skin. Batman watched him, the anger which had risen in him slowly dissipating again.

“I like it too,” Batman said in return. He let out a soft breath, his eyes lingering on Joker still.

“You don’t have to sound so sad about it,” Joker cooed, “it’s ok to enjoy yourself, it’s ok to take time out to do things you like.”

Batman scoffed, “I’m too busy for that.”

Joker smirked, “You found time today.”

“I was meant to be spending quality time with my family. I didn’t find time, I sacrificed it,” Batman’s voice was almost a growl as he spoke, he closed his eyes for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose. “…Not that I didn’t enjoy it.”

Joker smiled softly, lifting himself on the bed and reaching out to take Batman’s hand, “You’re really beating yourself up about this, aren’t you?” He pulled Batman’s hand to him, kissing his knuckles. “I’m sorry,” he said softly.

Batman felt a soft pull in his chest, he let out a soft breath.

He seemed genuine.

He looked up at Batman, his features soft. “I won’t do it again,” he smiled, “I don’t want you all upset and mad. It’s a little too realistic.”

“Thankyou,” Batman said shortly.

Joker perked up a little, “But can I still send videos?”

Batman let out a weak chuckle and nodded.

Joker squeaked happily, “Great! You can send some back if you want.”

Batman nodded again, “Ok,” he said as he pulled away, “But don’t expect me to respond right away.”


	11. Chapter 11

Batman looked down at his phone as he parked up across from Joker’s hotel. He scrolled up through their previous nights conversation. At 5am Bruce had finally clambered into bed, they’d exchanged a couple of messages before Bruce finally fell asleep.

They’d sent pictures and videos too and finished off with messages that said ‘I miss you, I’ll see you tomorrow’.

It was true, Batman did miss Joker, the videos they sent each other had been fun at first but by the end he’d wished he were there with him, falling asleep in that uncomfortable hotel bed rather than his own.

Quickly he left the car and climbed the stairs to Joker’s room. He glanced through the window to see Joker laying on the bed, his eyes on the tv, his chest tugged at the sight of him. He hadn’t fully realised it but he really had missed him.

He pushed the door open, he smiled faintly as their eyes met.

“Bats!” Joker squeaked, clumsily getting up on the bed and jumping down in front of Batman, pulling him into a tight hug and inhaling deeply, closing his eyes to focus on the feel and smell of him. “God, I’ve missed you,” he growled softly. He took a small step back, pulling out of the hug and looking Batman up and down, “It is so _boring_ sleeping here by myself. I’m a hugger y’know.”

Batman felt himself smile weakly as he listened to Joker talk. He felt as if he were coming home after a long business trip, he really hadn’t expected it.

“I missed you too, Joker.” The smile on his face grew a little as he spoke.

Joker’s face fell slightly, an eyebrow raising, “Wow, stop smiling, Bats. That is…” he shook his head, “unnerving, even for me.”

Batman wiped the smile from his face, he outstretched a hand to hold Joker’s hip, running his fingers over him.

“Why don’t we celebrate your return,” Joker suggested, “If I know you as well as I think I do then you’ll have thought of a ton of naughty things you want to do to me.”

Batman nodded half-heartedly, “I don’t have a list, but I have a few ideas.”

Joker let out a growled chuckle, shifting with excitement. “Can’t wait to see what they are.”

Batman let out a soft huff, pulling Joker close to him again and giving him a soft peck, “I can’t wait to show you what they are.”

Joker giggled, averting his eyes, his hands darted to his pants to undo his belt and pull them down. He stepped away as he began to undress.

Batman mimicked him, beginning to undress himself.

Joker bit his lip as Batman exposed himself, “That is a good looking piece of meat you’ve got there, Bats,” he said, smiling, “I believe I said I’d suck you off, didn’t I?”

Batman nodded, thinking back to one of their previous text conversations as he continued to undress himself, “I believe you did,” he confirmed.

“Well,” Joker grinned, “I’m a man of my word, let me get a good taste of you before we do anything else.”

Batman held back a smile and nodded.

Joker bit his lip, reaching out to stop Batman from removing his gloves, “Keep those on.” He lowered himself to his knees, looking up at Batman and licking his lips before leaning in to kiss at his tip.

Batman groaned softly as he watched, he knew from their text conversations how this was going to go, Joker had explained in excruciating detail exactly what he planned to do, however Batman hadn’t thought he would actually do it.

He hissed softly as Joker kissed and licked at his tip, biting his lip softly. “You’re such a tease,” he said, moving his hand to run his gloved fingers through Joker’s hair.

Joker’s eyes moved up to meet Batman’s, a playful smile on his face as his lips parted to slide Batman into his mouth.

Batman moaned loudly as Joker’s warm mouth took him to his base. “That feels good,” he groaned softly.

Joker moaned softly onto him, pulling away and beginning to kiss at him again. “You taste really good, Bats,” he said nonchalantly, “You must use some killer soap.”

Batman let out a huffed chuckle, “All that money you give me has to go on something.”

Joker gave a brief nod, focussing again on Batman’s cock, giving the length a slow stroke, licking his lips before putting his mouth to him again.

Batman watched as Joker’s head bobbed on him, he thrust his hips slightly to meet Joker’s lips, soft groans leaving him.

As he let himself relax and sink into the sensation he felt the speaker in his cowl begin to buzz. Alfred was trying to contact him.

“Shit,” Batman said sternly, loudly.

Joker stopped, pulling away and licking his lips, Batman could tell he’d startled him.

“Something wrong?” Joker asked, sitting back on the floor, his arms crossed.

Batman let out a huff, “I’m getting a call. It’s urgent.”

Joker huffed, leaning back against the foot of the bed. “Go on,” he growled, gesturing to the bathroom, “Take your time.”

Batman gave a stiff nod, he picked up his belt and walked into the bathroom. He pressed the button on his cowl to take the call.

“Yes,” he growled.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, Batman,” Alfred’s voice came down the phone, sounding almost panicked, “We need your assistance, Robin’s broken his arm, Nightwing’s in trouble. There’s a group of men, we think they work for Freeze, they’re hold up in the train station. I need you to meet him there immediately.”

Batman nodded, a strange weight falling over him, the longing he’d felt for Joker evaporated from him, replaced by an intense anger at himself. “Ok, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

He pressed the button to hang up, swearing loudly and banging his fist against the wall.

He should have known this would happen. He should have known that if he sacrificed too much of his time something would go wrong. Now Robin was hurt and it was because of him, because he wasn’t there.

He should have known that something like this would happen.

He opened the door and walked back into the hotel room, barely looking at Joker as he picked his armour back up, clipping it onto himself.

“I have to leave,” he informed him.

Joker’s face screwed up in a mix of anger and disappointment, “What?!” he said, aghast, “Why?!”

Batman closed his eyes for a moment, forcing his breathing to slow down, forcing himself to stay calm. “My kid has broken his arm.”

Joker scoffed and huffed, his eyes moving to the floor, “Well, shit. I guess you gotta go be a good father and whatever.”

Batman nodded, he paused as he clipped the last piece of his amour into place, turning his head to look at Joker. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, his voice genuine.

Joker let out a soft hum. He got to his feet and moved over to Batman, pulling him into a deep kiss. “Come over tomorrow night instead,” he said, smiling.

Batman swallowed hard. “I don’t know if I can,” he said solemnly. He pulled away and walked to the door, glancing back at Joker before he left. “I’m sorry, Joker.”

He wasn’t sure if that was entirely truthful. It was as much Joker’s fault as his own that he hadn’t been there to help Robin and Nightwing.

If Joker hadn’t insisted on seeing him more often then he would have been there. If Batman had walked away that first night then this whole thing wouldn’t have happened. Joker would be back in Arkham and Robin wouldn’t have gotten hurt.

Quickly Batman made his way to the train station. It didn’t take long for him to locate Nightwing.

Nightwing jumped slightly as Batman landed down beside him.

“Shit!” he said, clutching his chest and shaking his head, “You’d think I’d be used to you doing that by now.”

“What’s going on?” Batman asked, “Alfred didn’t give me much of a run down.”

Nightwing let out a huff, “We’ve got 6 men, 2 hostages, they’re hauled up in there, they don’t seem interested in coming out.”

“Any demands?”

Nightwing shook his head, “None so far, I think one of the hostages has been shot, but we can’t get in there to get them out.”

“How was Robin injured?”

Nightwing scoffed, “One of them got a lucky shot on him, he’s on his way home. But those guys… they’ve got new tech we’ve never seen before.”

Batman nodded slowly, “Ok. I’m going to talk to Jim, I’ll be back up in a bit, hopefully with a plan.”

He swung away and dropped down infront of one of the police vans. He looked around, trying to locate Jim, looking out for his signature coat.

A small smile came to his face as he saw the commissioner.

“Commissioner Gordon,” Batman said as he approached.

Jim let out a sigh of relief at the sight of Batman, “Batman. Where have you been?”

Batman raised an eyebrow.

Jim shook his head, waving his hand, “Sorry, I know you don’t work for me. I’m just… I’m running out of ideas here. Your kids are good but they’re not you.”

Batman gave a soft nod, “I understand. Do we know where the men are inside?”

Jim nodded, “Yeah, and we’ve just found out the 2 hostages are actually working with them, so that makes things a little easier.” He run his hand through his hair, looking around at his men, “I think it would be a good idea if we start to-“

His words cut out as a loud bang rang out from behind them, a bright light filled the sky as the entrance to the train station exploded.

Batman lifted his cape to block his view, shielding his eyes. He pulled Jim close to him and ducked down as shrapnel and rubble rained down on them. His ears rang as the lights faded, and he got back to his feet.

“That wasn’t us,” Gordon said as he raised himself back up. “There’s nothing in there that could have caused… that…”

Batman watched as he jogged away, shouting orders to his men as he passed them.

He growled softly as he felt his phone buzz in his pocket, he pinched the bridge of his nose as he pulled it out and looked down at the messages.

Joker:  
How’s it going darling?

Batman grit his teeth, he quickly stowed his phone and grappled up to one of the buildings. His mind raced as he watched the fallout from the explosion.

He looked down at the phone again.

This couldn’t be Joker.

He’d rushed here in a hyperpowered car, there was no way Joker could have gotten here and set up a bomb in that time.

He closed his eyes, letting out a breath. He couldn’t let his mind run away with him.

He heard someone clear their throat from across the roof.

His heart skipped, instantly the thought jumped to his head that he’d look over and see Joker, ready to gloat.

“You ok?” Nightwing’s voice broke through Batman’s thoughts.

Batman swallowed hard and nodded.

“You sure? You got out of there pretty quick, I would’a thought you’d be all over the scene. I though maybe you’d… I dunno, hit your head or something.”

Batman bit his lip. “I think Joker did this.”

“Joker?” Nightwing said, shocked, “No one’s seen him in… what like 3 months?”

Batman felt his gut twitch, “I just… have a feeling.”

Nightwing raised an eyebrow, “You have a feeling..?” he shrugged, “Well I’ve never known you to be wrong.”

“I know it seems unlikely,” Batman stated, “But trust me.”

“This does not fit his MO at _all_.” Nightwing shook his head, “But, I mean I’ll go with you on it because we have nothing else to go on.”

“It’s going to get me some time to get some evidence together.”


	12. Chapter 12

Batman approached the motel room, his stomach was twisting and clenching the same way it had for the first few nights he’d visited, as if he’d been transported back. He felt so unsure, so worried about what would happen if he went in.

It couldn’t have been Joker. He kept saying it to himself. It couldn’t have been.

Perhaps if he said it enough times he’d actually believe himself.

He had no idea how he could have done it, but he had.

He wasn’t sure if he could go in there and face him.

People had died in that explosion, they’d died because of him.

But what was new there? How did this really change anything?

Why had he started this? He should have taken Joker out that first night.

He jolted as the door opened, Joker’s smiling face appearing in the door frame. He was wearing a bath robe and his green hair was sopping wet.

“Bats?” Joker cooed, “What are you doing out here? Why haven’t you been answering my texts, I was worried!” The softness in his voice barely hid the possessiveness underneath. “I hope it was just your kids keeping you busy.”

Batman’s throat was dry as he tried to speak, “I’ve… had a rough couple of days. The subway I usually get-“

“It blew up?” Joker finished the sentence for him. He shrugged nonchalantly and reached out to take Batman’s hand, examining the glove absently, “Yes, I heard about that.”

Batman felt his stomach clench again, he felt more uneasy in Joker’s company now than he had for weeks. “Did you cause it?” he heard himself ask.

“Oh my, no,” Joker cooed again, lifting Batman’s gloved hand to kiss his knuckles. “Why on earth would I do that?” he let out a weak chuckle, the sound sending a shudder down Bruce’s back.

“Are you lying to me?” Batman asked, growling softly.

Joker let out another weak chuckle, giving Batman’s hand a tug to pull him into the room. “You act so much like him, darling. If I didn’t know better I’d think I was being interrogated.”

Batman smiled softly as an idea came to him. “If it were an interrogation how would you like it to go?” he asked, a fake sultry purr in his tone.

Joker chuckled again, although this one sounded a little different. “Well, it wouldn’t matter how I wanted it to go, would it? You’d do whatever you could to get the information you wanted.”

“I feel as if my usual methods of interrogation might not work on you,” he said, taking Joker by the wrist and squeezing it tightly.

Joker shook his head, squirming slightly as Batman grabbed him. “No, I’m too used to it, you’ll have to do something a little more drastic this time.”

In one swift movement Batman pulled off Joker’s bathrobe, and picked the man up into his arms, throwing him on the bed.

“Whoa!” Joker almost yelped. “Little rough there,” he grinned.

“That’s the idea,” Batman growled. He stood over him, watching him position himself on the bed, “Now, tell me what you know about the bomb.”

Joker bit his lip, feigning innocence, “I’m sorry Bats, I don’t know anything. You’ll have to drill it out of me.”

Batman let out a huff, he shook his head before walking to the chest of draws, he opened them seemingly at random until he found what he was looking for.

“It’s a little rude to go through a man’s things without asking,” Joker said from the bed. He moved to get to his feet, Batman turned to frown at him as he did.

“Did I say you could move?” Batman barked, turning to face him, a box in his hands.

Joker tittered, recognising the box. “You didn’t say I couldn’t.” He moved back on the bed, thinking for a moment, “You know I have some handcuffs in there, if you _really_ don’t want me to go anywhere.”

“I have my own,” Batman said as he returned to the bed. “I wasn’t planning on using them, but if you’re going to be difficult I have no choice.”

“Oh, I’m planning on being _very_ difficult,” Joker stated.

Batman unclipped his handcuffs from his belt and clipped one to each of Joker’s wrists, cuffing him to the headboard, Joker laughing as he did.

“These look very realistic,” Joker observed as he positioned himself on the bed, trying to get comfortable.

“They’re meant to,” Batman said back. He dropped the box on the bed and opened it to see the wide array of toys it held. He picked up the glass dildo he and Joker had used before and hummed softly before placing it back in the box.

He picked up a bottle of lube and poured some over his fingers, reaching over lazily to push a finger into Joker’s hole. Joker groaned softly as Batman pushed his finger deeper.

“Feel like telling me what you know yet?” Batman asked, thrusting his finger in and out slowly.

Joker laughed softly and shook his head, thrusting his hips up slightly in time with the movement of Batman’s fingers.

Batman let out a soft huff, removing his fingers and turning his attention back to the box of sex toys.

“Tough choice, isn’t it?” Joker grinned, watching him intently.

“I’m trying to find one that vibrates,” Batman stated.

Joker smirked, “Purple,” he informed him.

Batman dug through the box and found a small flared purple dildo with a singular button on the end.

“Is this it?” he asked, disappointed.

Joker shrugged, “Does what I need it to.”

“You don’t have anything I like,” Batman lied. He pressed the button on the end of the dildo, feeling it vibrate in his hand. He leant over to push it into Joker’s hole, twisting it slowly and moving it, his eyes moving to Joker’s face as he did, watching his eyes widen and hearing his breath catch.

“I think I might go out and buy a better one, a bigger one with different settings.” Batman tried to sound as disinterested as possible as he spoke, although really he would have been perfectly happy to use what Joker already had.

Joker raised an eyebrow, “You’re going to leave me? Like this?”

“Unless you want to tell me what you know now?” Batman offered.

Joker smirked, “I told you, I don’t know anything.”

Batman gave a stern nod and got to his feet. Joker began to protest, but Batman walked out before he could finish his sentence.

As he left the room he found himself feeling quite happy with himself. He wasn’t quite sure why. The idea of Joker laying in the room, handcuffed and squirming, he really liked that.

He didn’t have to go far to find a place that sold sex toys, this part of the narrows was filled with adult shops, and he didn’t feel too uncomfortable going in dressed as Batman, a lot of sex workers dressed up in strange outfits in this area, Bruce knew some of them dressed up as Batman.

It didn’t take him long to pick out a large dildo with multiple vibration settings, he picked out one which was bright green, the same colour as Joker’s hair.

“Every purchase over $50 gets free lube,” the cashier informed him.

He thought about it for a moment before shaking his head, “I don’t think I’ll need it,” he said before handing over his cash.

The cashier looked him up and down as he handed back his change. “Hey, uh,” he stuttered, “How much do you charge?”

Batman felt his stomach twist at the question. “More than you can afford,” he said stiffly before walking out.

He walked quickly back to the motel, bag in hand. He paused before entering, listening to the soft moans from inside, letting out a breath and mentally preparing himself for what he’d see.

Unfortunately the mental preparation didn’t work, as he opened the door the moans grew louder, he stepped into the room and looked over to see Joker, at the sight of the man squirming on the bed his knees turned to jelly.

He tried to keep his composure as he looked Joker up and down, sweat was visible on him, his mouth was hanging open, his eyes were wide and unfocussed, his cock was swollen, beads of precome dripping down his shaft.

“Are you ready to tell me what you know?” Batman growled.

Joker let out a soft whine, shaking his head. He bucked his hips, gasping softly, “Give me more,” he moaned.

Batman let out a soft chuckle at Joker’s persistence. “I’ve got your ‘more’ right here.” He tipped the contents of the bag onto the bed, pulling the dildo out of its box and switching it on, smiling at the feeling of it vibrating in his hand.

He moved his other hand to Joker’s hole, slowly pulling out the smaller dildo, feeling his gut tense as Joker moaned and panted.

“Give me more, Bats,” Joker keened. “Fuck, I would have come if I could touch myself.”

“It’s a good thing I handcuffed you then,” Batman said. He poured a small amount of lube onto the new dildo and turned it to its lowest setting, which he noticed was about the same as the small one. “I think you’ll get a kick out of this,” he said as he began to push the dildo into Joker’s hole, biting his lip as it slid in.

Joker whined and moaned softly, pushing himself down on the bed, trying to force the dildo in faster. “Oh, fuck, yes,” he said, closing his eyes.

Batman watched as the dildo reached its base, and began thrusting it slowly. “That looks good,” he said dumbly. He took his hand away and pressed the button to turn the power up.

Joker howled with pleasure as the dildo’s vibration increased, “Oh fuck!” he almost shouted, “Oh, fuck, Batman, that’s-that’s…”

Batman groaned softly as he watched Joker squirm, he could feel himself straining under his armour. “Are you close?” he asked softly.

Joker let out a soft hum, nodding weakly. “If I could-could just touch myself.”

“Tell me what you know about the bomb,” Batman purred, “And I’ll touch you.”

Joker whined and squirmed on the bed, “Damn it,” he growled. “That does sound like a good deal…”

Batman outstretched his hand and brushed his fingers over Joker’s cock, biting his lip as he felt how hard Joker was. Joker whined at the touch, bucking his hips again.

“Ok, ok, I’ll tell you,” Joker said, exasperated, shutting his eyes tight.

Batman wrapped his hand around Joker’s shaft, squeezing softly. “Tell me the truth and I’ll let you come.”

Joker hissed, “I said ‘ok’ didn’t I!” he let out a soft growl, bucking his hips again, trying to urge Batman to move his hand. “I knew about the bomb, but I didn’t set it, they were going to blow that station up anyway.”

“Who did it?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

Batman let out a soft huff, letting his grip loosen on Joker’s dick, beginning to let go, “That’s too bad, Joker.”

Joker growled loudly and swore, “Fuck, ok, ok! It’s Twoface and Riddler, they’re working together. They need the station closed but I don’t know why, ok? I swear that’s all I know Bats.”

Batman let out a soft hum, grasping Joker’s cock tightly and beginning to pump it slowly, feeling it twitch beneath his gloved hand. He moved his other hand to the dildo, thrusting it slowly, angling it to brush against Joker’s prostate.

Joker moaned loudly, looking up at Batman, his mouth hanging open. “Faster, Bats, make me come, I’m so close, do it, please.”

Batman groaned, moving his hand faster on Joker’s dick, after a moment he felt him spasm, watching as he squirmed on the bed, come splashing over him.

He watched Joker finish, a satisfied look on his face. “That’s a good way to get information,” he said as he moved his hand away, slowly pulling out the dildo and discarding it on the bed.

Joker nodded, “I never knew an interrogation could be so fun. We’ll have to do it again the next time you need information,” he winked.

Batman nodded, leaning over Joker to unlock his handcuffs. As he neared him Joker leaned up, as if expecting a kiss, Batman complied, putting the handcuffs back in his belt.

Joker let out a soft breath. “I didn’t know you took the subway,” he said absently.

“I do,” Batman informed him.

“It must have been… unnerving for you. You could have been in there.”

There was an oddly natural tone to Joker’s voice, Bruce felt almost at ease hearing it.

“Yes,” Batman stated, “It was.”

“Then… your kids would have been left without a father.”

Batman nodded, his lips pursed slightly, wondering where Joker was going with this, why he was talking like this.

“Gotham is so dangerous,” Joker said loudly, his tone back to normal, “Nobody should live here,” he chuckled weakly.

“It’s worth it.”

Joker shook his head, “It’s an ugly city, filled with awful people, run by a corrupt government. There’s nothing good about it.”

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Batman quipped.

Joker laughed softly, moving on the bed to grab a bag of junk food from the nightstand, “That’s true. You are the best thing about Gotham, Batman. I probably wouldn’t be here if you weren’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sweats* Uuuhhh yeah it's been a long ass time aint it


	13. Chapter 13

“So now you’re telling me it’s not him?” Nightwing said, leaning on the console of the batcomputer, his face blank.

Batman nodded, scrolling through a map on the screen.

“And you won’t tell me why you’ve changed your mind?” Nightwing continued, removing his mask and rubbing the lines it had created around his eyes.

“That’s correct,” Batman confirmed, not taking his eyes from the screen as they talked.

Dick let out a soft huff, starting to remove the top half of his armour. “Is there a reason you won’t tell me? Or are you just being weird for no reason?”

“There is a reason I can’t tell you. I just need you to trust me on this.”

Dick nodded, “I guess it has something to do with the guy you’ve been running off to see?”

Batman felt himself still slightly, and he let his eyes move from the screen. “Pardon?” he asked sternly.

A small smirk came to Dick’s face, “Oh come on, Bruce, don’t play with me. You’ve either got a new boyfriend or you’re doing some kind of underground undercover informant thing. You’re not as slick as you think.”

Batman felt a breath leave him, and felt his gut twist. He could either lie to Dick or tell him the truth and risk upsetting him again.

“It’s…” he began, trying to think of a way of explaining everything that didn’t reveal everything. “A mixture of both, I suppose. I started seeing a man, and it has turned out that he has some connections, information that he’s willing to give up. He doesn’t know who I am, obviously, he doesn’t know he’s giving this information to someone who can use it.”

“So, you’re honey-trapping this poor crook?” Dick smiled, “I didn’t know you had it in you.” He reached over to give Bruce’s arm a playful shove.

“He’s not a _crook_ ,” Batman stated quickly. He shook his head, “I think I might actually like him. He’s not… He’s not a _nice_ man, but, I don’t know.” He let out a huff, shaking his head again, firmer this time, waving his hand dismissively, “I shouldn’t be talking to you about this.

Dick clicked his tongue, “Bruce, don’t get all closed up on me. You know all the weird situations I’ve been in, I’ve dabbled in the dark side a bit, I know how messy things can be. I’m probably the only other person in Gotham who knows what you’re going through.”

Batman clenched his fist, digging his nails into his palm. “If you have any useful suggestions, you’re welcome to share them.”

Dick lifted himself to sit on the console, his eyes flitting across the room as he thought, “Well, intimacy usually loosens people up. A lot of people in that line of work crave attention, they want someone to listen to them and make them feel good about themselves. I don’t see anything wrong with going along with that, especially if he doesn’t know that it’s you he’s spilling his secrets to. Really you’ve got the best of both worlds: you’re making this guy happy for a few hours a week, and yourself, and you get information that you can use. It’s a grey area, sure, but a lot of our work is a grey area-”

Batman sighed softly, returning to his work as Dick spoke.

“-And, maybe, once you’ve used all the info this guy can give you, you can talk him round to our side.”

Batman felt his gut tense again. He closed his eyes for a moment. “I don’t think that’ll happen. Even if he were willing he’s…” he shook his head, “No.”

Dick nodded, looking a little taken aback, “Oh, ok, well, then, eventually your fling will come to an end, I guess. You’ll both just part ways.”

Batman bit his lip. The idea of going back to how things used to be between them wasn’t appealing, and there was no way Joker would just stop. “I…” he began, he stopped himself and forced a nod. “Thankyou, Dick, you’ve been helpful.”

“No prob,” Dick said, smiling, he hopped down from the console and gave Bruce a pat on the shoulder before walking off towards the showers.

Bruce let out a deep breath as Dick walked away. He couldn’t see an end to this that didn’t end badly. He found himself thinking again that he probably shouldn’t have started this.

He pulled out his phone, he wasn’t sure why but he felt that reading through his old conversations with Joker might make him feel better.

A frown came to his face as he unlocked the phone and realised that he had 3 messages from him, his phone hadn’t alerted him.

Joker:  
Good evening sweetheart!  
I hope you’re having fun on your night off.  
Texting to let you know that I miss you :C

A smile came to Batman’s face, and he quickly messaged back.

Batman:  
I hope you’re having fun on my night off too.

Joker messaged back after a few seconds.

Joker:  
Don’t you miss me too?

Batman let out a soft huffed chuckle, sending another message.

Batman:  
I do miss you too.  
What are you doing to fill your time?

Joker messaged back again immediately.

Joker:  
Crook things C;

Batman shook his head, putting his phone down on the console and turning back to his work. He had been trying to calculate where Twoface and Riddler might be hiding, listing all of their past hideouts, planning to go to visit them and check if there was any sign of them being in use again.

There were three that had had reported foot traffic over the past couple of weeks, visiting them first would be a good idea.

Batman picked up his phone, got to his feet, and decided to do exactly that.

It was quite late in the night, about 4am, when he stepped into the dark, feeling the cold air on his face as he overlooked the derelict apartment building that Edward had called home before his last brush with the law.

Batman didn’t think he would have been stupid enough to return there, Batman knew about it after all, the cops had cleared the place out, there was no reason to come here.

But the lights were on. Batman could see them clearly, camping lanterns shining through open windows.

That was a stupid move. It was as if Riddler wanted Batman to know he were there.

Most likely it was a trap.

Perhaps Joker had told Riddler to be on the lookout, so he’d trapped the place. That seemed unlikely though as they weren’t on the friendliest of terms.

He anchored himself to the roof of Riddler’s building and lowered himself to the window, hoping to get a better look inside before deciding whether or not to go in.

He frowned as he peered through the window. The small room had camping furniture dotted across it, and a handful of rose petals scattered over the beige carpet. Bruce didn’t really want to ask why.

After a moment of surveying the room he noticed something that made him tense up.

A camera. Poorly hidden on the far side of the room, clearly on and recording, peeking out between the legs of a camping chair. It was pointed towards the centre of the room, Batman would have been caught in the centre of the frame.

Nothing in the room seemed obviously trapped, he had to see what had been recorded, and he couldn’t have himself caught on tape.

Carefully he slid the window open. It was unlocked.

He stepped into the room, straightening himself up and walking to the camera. He picked it up and looked it over, it was an old fashioned design but it was clearly made to work digitally. He scrolled through the short list of clips on the camera, there were only three entries.

The first one was 15 seconds long, he played it.

The screen showed a blurry scene, it seemed to be the room he was standing in, he recognised the carpet and the large windows. There was a voice in the background of the shot, one Batman didn’t recognise.

 _“You said put it here_.”

There was a soft shuffling noise as the camera was handled, and then a gentle thud as it was put on the floor.

The second clip was even shorter, only 4 seconds. The same unknown voice spoke again.

“ _I can’t get this fucking thing to work, it’s meant to send through_ -“ The voice cut off and the picture went dark.

The third entry was almost 4 hours long.

It started with a person scurrying across the frame, as if trying not to be caught by the camera, so close to it that only their feet were visible. The man’s shoes were unfortunately unfamiliar as Riddler’s or Twoface’s.

Batman felt himself deflate as he watched through, the realisation that he really had been expected here dawning on him.

He could hear more voices, but they were whispering and he couldn’t pick up what exactly they was saying.

After the man left the frame there was the sound of a door closing, and then nothing. Batman fastforwarded through the footage until he saw himself drop down to the window.

He pulled a usb stick from his pocket and plugged it into the camera, moving the files over before putting the usb back into his pocket. He deleted the files on the camera. It seemed as if they were having issues setting it up, hopefully they would assume that there had been another unforeseen issue and it hadn’t recorded the files correctly.

It was foolish, but he was panicking. He could feel it rising in him, a heat in his chest that cut his breath short.

As fast as he could he retreated back up to the roof, making sure to leave the room exactly as he’d found it otherwise.

He sat down once he was on the roof, his eyes closed.

Edward wouldn’t have let some lacky set up technology to catch Batman in the act, that was more Joker’s style.

Joker had mislead him on purpose. Joker had been suspicious and he’d set this up to try and catch him.

Batman couldn’t believe he’d fallen for this.

He shouldn’t have let it get this far.

He lay back on the concrete, his eyes still closed.

He couldn’t believe he’d let himself fall for this.

Of course he’d lie. That’s what the Joker did.

He couldn’t let this happen to himself again.

He pulled out his phone, looking over the messages Joker had sent him, letting out a deep sigh.

He jumped as his phone buzzed.

Joker had just messaged him.

Perhaps that wasn’t a coincidence…

Joker:  
I can’t wait for tomorrow night. I’m so bored without you <3

Batman grit his teeth, growling to himself. He couldn’t continue doing this.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I know this chapter is a little shorter than usual but I was thinking about it all morning I just had to get it out!!

Batman parked his car as usual, and began the short walk to the motel, every step sent a shudder through him. He didn’t want to do this. He really didn’t want to.

He didn’t want to confront Joker about the camera, he didn’t want to pop this little bubble that they’d created.

But he knew he couldn’t keep this illusion going forever.

It would end in pain, people would get hurt. He couldn’t let it continue.

Stopping it was the right thing to do.

As he pushed open the door to their room, he found himself internally prepared for a fight.

If Joker did know who he was, and now knew Batman knew, there was nothing to hold the illusion together, the bubble would burst, the world outside would come crashing in.

It would be over.

He let out a small gasp as Joker threw himself at him. He didn’t have time to react, but after a second he realised Joker wasn’t attacking him, he was hugging him, kissing his face and neck.

Batman quickly realised that Joker wasn’t just hugging him, he was unclipping his armour.

“Joker, I-“ he began to protest, trying to push Joker away.

Joker shook his head, shushing him, “No, no, no,” he said hurriedly. “Don’t, Batman. Let’s enjoy this.” He pulled Batman into a deep kiss, and Batman felt himself melt into it.

“Jus’ one more time,” Joker slurred, “Before it gets all serious…”

Batman could feel his heart in his throat, a lead weight in his stomach. Joker knew what was going to happen, Joker knew why he was here, he must do.

He let Joker lead him to the bed, lying down on it.

Joker smiled down at him. “You’re such a handsome little bat,” he said softly as he clambered onto him, “I could spend forever just staring at you.”

Joker caught his lips in a kiss, he tasted like vodka.

“You’ve been drinking?” Batman said breathily as Joker ground down against him.

Joker nodded, “Yep. Do you want some?” He leant over and picked up a half finished bottle of vodka, holding the metal pouring spout to Batman’s lips. “It’s yummy,” he said to tempt him.

Batman paused for a moment before opening his mouth, letting himself take a shot. This was going to be painful, perhaps alcohol would help a little.

Joker dipped down and kissed a spot of spilled vodka from Batman’s lips. “I have a confession to make,” he said against his lips, “and I don’t think I could do it if I wasn’t drunk. It’s gunna make shit real weird.”

Batman smiled weakly, “It’s already Batman and Joker having sex, I don’t see how it could get much stranger.”

Joker let out a hissed breath, “Oh, you’ll see.” He shifted on Batman’s lap, grasping his dick and pumping it softly, “But I wanna do this first, I just wanna enjoy you one last time.”

Batman couldn’t help feeling on edge, Joker’s tone was unnerving. What was going to happen after they’d finished? Perhaps Joker had planted a bomb in the room and planned to blow them both up after confessing that he knew he was the real Batman.

He let out a sharp gasp as Joker pushed himself onto the head of his cock.

“That feel good, Batsy?” Joker asked him, letting out a soft hissed breath as he lowered himself down Batman’s shaft. “We’re doing it raw today, I wanna feel everything you’ve got.”

Batman moaned loudly, nodding in answer. He bucked his hips slowly as Joker sank down to meet him.

“Fuck, Bats, you feel so good,” Joker keened.

He began to lift himself, bouncing slowly on Batman’s cock, moving his hand to touch himself, his eyes still stuck on Batman.

Batman moved his hands to Joker’s hips, urging him to move faster, feeling his face turn hot under Joker’s gaze.

“Is it a bad confession?” he heard himself ask, the words leaving him without him meaning them to.

Joker’s face changed from pleasure to a soft kind of sad confusion, a look Batman hadn’t seen before.

“You’ll think so,” Joker said quietly, his movements slowing.

“You don’t know that,” Batman replied, a compassionate tone in his voice that even he hadn’t expected to hear.

Joker shook his head, “I know you, Batman. You won’t take this well. Real Batman or hooker Batman, you won’t want to hear what I’m going to say.”

He stopped, letting out a weak sigh. “I’d really hoped we could do this one more time before I ruin it. I don’t think I can…” Slowly he lifted himself off, laying down on the bed beside Batman, turned to face him.

He planted a gentle kiss on Batman’s cheek.

There was something about him that felt strange. Batman couldn’t put his finger on what it was. Sadness? This certainly wasn’t the reaction he’d expected from Joker finding out that he was the real Batman.

“Batman,” Joker said quietly. He paused, biting his lip, “I think I… love you.”

Batman felt his gut twist as the words left Joker’s lips.

That really wasn’t what he’d expected.

“What?” he said sternly.

Joker let out a breathy laugh, “See, I told you you wouldn’t like it. But I’ve been thinking about it, and it’s true. I can’t lie to myself anymore about it. I love you, Batman.”

Batman shook his head, lifting himself up on the bed. “I have to go.”

Joker frowned, watching him put his armour back on. “I thought you might react like that, true to emotionally-stunted form.” He sat up on the bed, his frown slowly changing to a smile. “I wanted you to know. I know everything, Batman, and I love you.”

Batman stilled.

That was what he’d said, right?

‘I know everything’.

Joker did know.

He looked back at Joker, the man’s smile stuck fast on his face.

“I have to go,” Batman repeated, turning to leave the motel room.

-

Batman sat on the roof of one of Gotham’s tallest buildings, his eyes closed as he meditated under the moonlight… dwelled on what had happened, on what he’d done.

Joker was in love with him. He’d said it, and he’d meant it.

Batman grit his teeth.

Why had he said that, didn’t he realise how much more complicated that made this? It was already pretty fucking complicated!

Joker was right, he didn’t like it.

He didn’t know what to do.

His phone buzzed and his stomach turned. What if that was Joker? Or worse what if it was Nightwing messaging him to tell him that Joker had gone on a rampage?

He pulled out his phone. It was Nightwing.

Dick:  
Hope you’re enjoying your time with that connection of yours.

Batman closed his eyes again, grinding his teeth.

After a moment he decided to text back. As Dick had said he was probably the only person in Gotham who understood what he was going through.

Bruce:  
He just told me he loves me, so, no.

Usually he’d keep this to himself and internalise it, but doing that so far had only caused problems, and he didn’t want to cause hurt to anyone more than he had to.

His com buzzed in his head, Dick was calling him.

He answered.

“ _He’s in love with you? What the fuck, Bruce?”_

Batman let out a soft sigh, “Yeah, I wasn’t expecting this. I think he knows I’m Batman too.”

“ _Wait, so he knows Bruce Wayne is Batman? That’s a fucking_ -“

“No,” Batman corrected him quickly, “He thought I was just in a Batman costume, now he knows I’m really Batman.”

“ _Oh…kay…”_ Dick replied, obviously confused.

“I don’t want to go into detail about it,” Batman said quickly

“ _Yeah, I don’t think I want you to go into detail.”_

“I don’t know what to do,” Batman said, disparaged.

“ _Well…_ ” Dick cooed across the phone, “ _Do you like him back?”_

“I…” Batman huffed, “He’s a bad guy, Nightwing, I can’t just-“

“ _Let’s just pretend for a second that that doesn’t matter, ok. People can reform, they can change. Do you love him back_.”

Batman frowned, “There’s a difference between like and love-“

“ _Yeah, whatever,”_ Dick interrupted, “ _Do you though? Do you like him or love him or whatever_?”

Batman shifted uncomfortably. He’d tried not to think about it before now. He hadn’t let himself. Much in the same way he hadn’t allowed himself to think of how physically attracted he’d been to Joker before they started this whole thing.

“ _Bruce..?”_ Dick cooed, “ _Just give me your honest answer_.”

Batman let out another breath, chewing his lip absently. “...I think I might?” he said after a moment, “I don’t know, maybe?”

“ _Well then you fucking go for it, Bruce. Tomorrows problems are for tomorrows you, but today you go and tell that man that you love him back_.”

Bruce nodded to himself, and pressed the button to hang up.

He pulled out his phone again, checking Joker’s messages.

There was a new one he’d missed.

Joker:  
I take it you won't be coming over tomorrow night?

Batman typed out a message.

Batman:  
I’m coming over now.


	15. Chapter 15

Joker let Batman into the room, silent as Batman sat on the bed. He had a bathrobe wrapped around him, and a concerned look on his face.

“I didn’t think you’d come back,” he mused, looking down at Batman. “You’re full of surprises.”

“You just told me that you know who I am, and that you love me, and you think _I’m_  the one full of surprises?”

Joker smirked, “Don’t get sarky, Bats.”

Batman frowned, going quiet, regretting having said that. He’d had the whole journey here to think of what he wanted to say, but he was still coming up blank. He didn’t want to push Joker away or upset him. He needed to be honest.

“I’m sorry for running out,” he said quietly, genuinely.

“It’s fine,” Joker said with a smile and a wave of his hand, “I was expecting it.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Joker, I never have, really,” Batman confessed, knotting his hands in the sheets on the bed.

Joker watched him for a moment, then nodded. “I know, you say it all the time,” he smirked, “but I keep pushing you.”

Batman swallowed hard. He couldn’t get the lump out of his throat, he felt terrible. He knew this wasn’t going to work, Joker was too stubborn to change, there was a lifetime of examples to show that.

“I don’t want this to end,” Joker said, frowning, “I’ve enjoyed this so much, more than fighting with you. I didn’t even know that was possible!”

Batman frowned, “If you didn’t want it to end you shouldn’t have lied to me about that bomb, you shouldn’t have-“

“I didn’t lie,” Joker corrected, shaking his head. “It really is Twoface and Riddler. They just have a new hideout.” He frowned, “And if we’re actually going to discuss who started fucking this up first you’re the one who used me for information. You’re the one who started this, you started this whole thing!”

Batman grit his teeth, exhaling through his nose. He forced himself to stay calm, gripping the sheets tighter in anger.

“I should have walked away that first night,” he said with a shake of his head.

Joker’s face fell, he crossed his arms, almost hugging himself. “Please don’t say that,” he mumbled.

He let out a soft huff and forced the smile back onto his face, “The past couple of months have been… a revelation for me. I never knew I could enjoy your company so much, I never realised I had the ability to… to care for someone.” His eyes darted away, “I understand that you don’t love me, and that’s ok, I suppose? You’ve spent years convinced you hate me, but I’ve always loved you, Batman.” He shook his head, “You can’t _regret_  this.”

“I regret that it’s ending like this,” Batman said, correcting himself.

Joker looked down at Batman’s hand, watching him fiddle with the bedsheets. “You know it doesn’t have to end at all.”

“You’ve ruined the whole illusion of it,” Batman growled, “I can’t keep doing this, it’s not right.”

“What illusion?” Joker asked, sounding almost desperate, “We both knew from the start, didn’t we? You’re lying to yourself if you think there was really any illusion here.”

Batman felt his stomach churn as Joker spoke. So he had known from the beginning? Batman had suspected, but he’d told himself he was just being paranoid.

“It’s still not right,” he said quietly.

“And it was right when you thought I believed you were a hooker?” Joker asked, an eyebrow raised. “That really says a lot about your character.”

“…How did you know I wasn’t a sex worker?” Batman asked.

Joker shrugged, “There were a few things,” he began to count on his fingers, “You never used a condom, you didn’t take my money until I forced you to, and your armour is literally Batman’s armour.” He clasped his hands together, “I know what a hooker thinks Batman looks like, and I know what Batman actually looks like, and you, darling, are the real fucking deal.” He grinned knowingly, “Oh, and also, the hooker I actually hired showed up about half an hour after you left.”

“Why didn’t you confront me?”

Joker’s smile softened, “It has been my dream to have sex with you for… as long as I can remember. That first night was a dream come true.” His smile weakened more so, “I didn’t expect you to come back though. I thought you’d had your fun and left, it would be something that drove you wild in the night, but you’d repress it like you do with everything else, and you’d never mention it again.”

He shifted on his feet, “When you came back… I felt there was something different, it felt more real, so I went along with it. If you needed to pretend at first, then that was fine.” He let out a soft laugh, “But then I started to feel for you. Really feel. I just needed to get everything off my chest. I couldn’t keep pretending.”

Batman nodded along as Joker talked. He could certainly see similarities between what he and Joker had felt. He hadn’t expected to come back after the first night either. He hadn’t expected to feel the way he had. He hadn’t expected to care. Maybe there would have come a point where he couldn’t have kept pretending either.

“I do care about you, Joker,” Batman confessed, “But with all the things you’ve done…”

“I know we’ve not gotten off to a good start,” Joker stated impatiently. He huffed again, pinching the bridge of his nose, “You said that you cared about me. You said you found me attractive. You said that I was the _best_ sex you’ve ever had. Was that all pretend too? Was that part of your ‘illusion’?”

Batman shook his head. “I do care about you, I do find you attractive, I do think you’re the best sex I’ve ever had. But you’re a murderer. I can’t keep enabling you.”

As Batman spoke a soft smile came to Joker’s face, comforted by his confirmation, “You know,” he purred, closing the gap between them, “I actually haven’t done a single criminal thing since that first night.” He paused, “I did… steal, a little. But I mean I’ve done no like, crime-crime. No murders or grand larceny or anything.” He stood in front of Batman, practically pressed up against his legs, “I haven’t felt like I’ve wanted to, because I know that I could get caught and then I wouldn’t get to see you anymore.”

He swayed on his feet, looking down at Batman with longing in his eyes, “Maybe we could make a deal? We keep doing this and I stay out of the spotlight for a little bit. Most of that shit I do for your attention as it is, you can just give me all your attention here. I can even use my criminal contacts to give you a heads up on big things the others are doing.”

Batman sighed softly, looking Joker up and down. It was true at least that Joker had been laying low since he and Batman had started hooking up, but who knew how long that would last. “I don’t know if I can do that, I can’t put my trust in you, I know you’ll betray me, I can’t let myself fall in love with you.”

“I’ve let myself fall in love with you,” Joker said in protest. “I’d do anything to have you love me back. I honestly mean that. I’ll stop the criminal thing, I’ll go to _therapy_ and take _meds_ and whatever else.”

Batman shook his head, “I don’t believe you.”

Joker sighed, chewing his lip again, “I just want you to see me as being worthy of your time.” He took a small step back, “Whenever I go to Arkham it’s like you forget I exist. Do you know how awful it is there?” he huffed, “Wait, no, you don’t, because you drop us off at the front door and then fuck straight off. Sometimes I _do_  think I should try to get better, but I know if I do, you’ll abandon me, everyone will. I’ll lose everything and have to start over. That’s not an inviting prospect. You don’t know what it’s like to be on this side of the line, Batman, it’s a trap, it’s impossible.” He took another step back, leaning against the wall. “You remember the last time you tried to ‘rehabilitate’ one of us? Tell me what you remember.”

Batman frowned, “It was Riddler, a year and a half ago,” he began rattling off information, “He had been in Arkham for 40 months and was moved to a halfway house, he was given a part time job, after less than a week working there he set the place on fire.”

Joker nodded, “To you it looks like he tricked his way out of Arkham and then betrayed all the work he’d done to get to that point, and fucked off, correct?”

Batman nodded, not really sure what the point of this exercise was.

Joker shook his head. “For 40 months Ed was put through rigorous therapy, surrounded by people who didn’t really care about him, abused him even, in some cases. Then he was uprooted and put in some shitty 8by8 room in another place where people didn’t really care about him and although it’s a halfway house it’s still run like a prison and he doesn’t even feel safe leaving his room in the night to piss. And he’s given a shitty job sweeping up in some store where he gets no mental stimulation, and everyone knows who he is, and everyone knows that he can’t do shit all to defend himself without being sent back to Arkham, and they use that to their advantage from day one.”

He paused, looking down at Batman, his hands on his hips, “Tell me what you would do in that situation. Wouldn’t you want to get out?”

Batman felt his stomach twist. His eyes dropped to the floor. After a moment he nodded, “I probably would.”

“That’s why no one gets better in Arkham, Batman. That’s why we ‘betray’ you. You don’t help us, you’re part of the problem. You imprison us in hell.”

Batman had never heard Joker talk so seriously before. It seemed this was really something he cared about. Although there was also a chance that he was just saying this to get Batman on his side. Maybe this was part of a plan?

He closed his eyes for a moment, Dick’s words playing through his head. It was a problem he could deal with later when it arose. This conversation felt so strange he wasn’t quite sure how to react. He'd thought this whole affair would be ending tonight, the chance to extend it even a little was so appealing. If Joker was telling the truth he couldn't risk letting him down now and having him revert to his old ways.

Batman looked back up at Joker, “I’ll go along with this, for now. I’ll support you in anything you do to try and get better.”

Joker smiled, “Including rocking your bones on a regular basis?”

Batman nodded. “But if you do anything to hurt me and make me regret this, I will make you regret it.”

Joker let out a laugh, “Of course, darling, of course.” He moved to Batman again and leant forward to give him a kiss, cupping his face. Batman found it hard to respond at first, as if his mouth wasn’t sure what to do.

“Thankyou,” Joker said softly, pulling away. He smiled, “I suppose you’ll want to go away now and brood on what a bad decision you’ve made?”

Batman reached out a hand to pull Joker back to him, kissing him again, “I’m sure I’ll have time for that later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to re-write parts of this a couple of times because it felt really awkward?? I hope this doesn't come across too much in the chapter, I'll come back and re-read it in a bit and I might edit it. Also happy easter!! ily!!


	16. Chapter 16

That night Batman found himself reluctant to leave Joker’s company. They’d had sex 3 times before running out of steam, and it had been amazing, somehow ridding themselves of the fallacy that Batman was a sex worker made it an immeasurable amount better. They could both be themselves.

“It’s almost 2am,” Joker said, his fingers intertwined with Batman’s, fiddling with them playfully. “Don’t you have to go?”

“I do,” Batman said quietly. He didn’t want to, though. He felt that leaving would somehow undo the progress they’d made, although he wasn’t sure why he felt that or how that would work.

And he enjoyed spending time with Joker.

“Yet I don’t see you going?” Joker smiled.

“I’m going,” Batman said, disgruntled, forcing himself to sit up on the bed.

“So will we stick to our old schedule? Or will we change things up now the cats out of the bag?” Joker asked.

Batman shook his head, “I think we’ll stick to the old one for now.” He looked down at Joker, his eyes moving over his slender frame, skirting over the scars which covered his naked body. He looked beautiful, in his own way.

“I might stay another hour,” he confessed. “I can just send Nightwing a message that I’m running late.”

Joker’s face split into a wide smile, “Ok. I’ll take advantage of that hour.”

Batman smirked, “Really? I thought you were out.”

“I just can’t resist you, Batman,” Joker said, his voice a sultry purr.

Batman shook his head softly and got to his feet, picking up his belt and walking into the bathroom. He pressed the com to call Nightwing.

“ _Bats, how’s your night going? You have a chat with your connection?”_

Batman felt himself deflate slightly, “Yes, I did. Things went well.”

“ _Did you get some_?” Dick asked, a cheery taunt.

Batman huffed, “I’m not telling you that.”

From behind the door Joker let out a soft call, “Bats, hurry up, I want your cute ass back in here!”

Dick chuckled through the com, “ _It sounds like you did. Good on you_.” He paused for a moment, “ _Who is that, by the way? His voice is familiar_.” He let out a stifled laugh, “ _Oh god could you imagine if it’s someone I’ve been with? Oh, is his name Liam? Liam was the best, I would have killed to have him fall in love with me_.”

Batman felt his stomach clench, he let out a soft huff, “I’m going to be home late today.”

“ _Aww_ ,” Dick cooed down the phone, “ _Ok, you take as long as you need, have the whole day if you want, things have been_ so _quiet_.”

Batman hung up, shaking his head softly. He let out a sigh as he went back into the bedroom.

“I would have preferred if you hadn’t shouted through,” he said sternly.

Joker shrugged, “Well, I did. Why? Does your protégé not approve of me?”

“I doubt he would.” Batman sat back down on the bed.

“Oh, so he doesn’t know we’re… whatever we are?” Joker smiled softly as he climbed onto Batman’s lap.

“He knows I’m seeing someone,” Batman informed him, his hand tracing Joker’s side. “He just doesn’t know exactly who.”

“He’ll be so mad when he finds out,” Joker smirked, taking Batman’s length in his hand and stroking it softly.

Batman let out a soft breath, “Maybe so, but he’ll get over it.”

Joker smiled weakly, “You say that like it’s happened before.”

“You’re the only bad guy I’ve had sex with,” Batman informed him.

Joker snorted with laughter, “’Bad guy’, you’re so cute.” He leaned forward to kiss Batman, “We’re all just people.”

“We’re all just people?” Batman echoed, kissing Joker back.

Joker nodded absently, moving himself on Batman’s lap to press the tip of his cock into his hole. He closed his eyes and hummed softly as he took Batman’s length.

Batman let out a soft breath as Joker sank down his shaft. “I think you’re my favourite person,” he said dumbly.

Joker let out a weak chuckle, slowly beginning to bounce on Batman’s dick. “You’re just saying that because my ass is wrapped round your dick.”

Batman shook his head, thrusting upwards slightly. “No, I mean it.”

Joker leaned in to kiss Batman again, “Well isn’t that nice to hear,” he said quietly. He let out a soft groan and began to move a little faster on Batman’s length.

Their eyes locked as Joker rocked back and forth on Batman’s lap, both of them moaning softly in time with their movements. After a moment a smile came to Joker’s face, as if he’d just thought of a joke but was trying to hide it.

“Something wrong..?” Batman asked breathily.

Joker let out a weak laugh, “I think I overdid it earlier, my leg’s cramping up.”

Batman let a smile come to his face, he wrapped his arm around Joker and pulled him up, moving him unceremoniously onto his back on the bed.

“You need to do more cardio,” he quipped, pressing Joker into the bed and pushing his cock hard into Joker’s hole.

Joker let out a small yelp, closing his eyes as Batman pushed into him, biting his lip. He reached up to Batman’s hips and pulled him closer, pushing himself back against Batman’s cock. “Stop preaching and fuck my brains out, Batsy,” he growled, grinding against him.

Batman took that as an order. He nodded sternly and shifted his feet onto the floor, he lifted Joker’s hips slightly and thrust hard into his hole.

“Oh, Batman,” Joker groaned, his head tipping back in pleasure, brushing against the sheets of the bed, “You could make a guy forget his own name, you know that?”

Batman held back a smile, pounding into Joker harder, moving a hand to pinch and rub at Joker’s nipples.

Joker let out a soft whine, looking back up at him, his mouth open and tongue out. He moved his hand to touch himself, gripping himself tightly. “Feels so good,” he choked out.

Batman nodded, “I can keep going all night, Joker.”

Joker nodded listlessly, his hand moving faster on himself, “Keep going,” he whimpered.

“Look at me,” Batman growled, slamming harder into him.

Joker nodded again and complied, staring up at him wide eyed, his mouth still hanging open, soft grunts and moans leaving him with each of Batman’s thrusts.

For what felt like an hour they stared at each other, watching the looks of pleasure slowly grow on their faces as they continued, not a word passing between them.

“Batman,” Joker eventually whined out, “This is so good…”

Batman grunted in answer, giving a small nod, moving his hand to Joker’s cock and gripping it, stroking it fast.

“Oh god,” Joker said breathily, only now breaking eye contact as his head tipped back again. “Faster, faster,” he demanded.

Batman let out a soft groan, feeling Joker’s body begin to twitch around him. He tightened his grip and moved his hand faster, “Close?” he asked teasingly.

Joker nodded, looking up at him again, gasping softly. “I’m-I’m-“ he let out a soft whine, cutting himself off, his eyes slipped closed and bucked his hips forward, a small string of come spilling from him and dripping down Batman’s hand.

Batman let out a soft groan, watching as Joker’s body tensed and relaxed beneath him. “I like watching you come,” he said quietly, a weak smile on his face.

Joker let out a gentle hum, a smile growing on his face, “I love when you watch me come.” A weak frown ghosted his face, “I feel like it’s always me coming first.”

Batman nodded, shifting on the bed, his thrust slowing, “I’m fine with that.”

“I think,” Joker began, a thoughtful tone in his voice, “I want you to finish in my mouth. You should get a treat for being so selfless.”

Batman paused for a moment before nodding. Slowly he pulled out and straightened himself up, standing up next to the bed.

Joker shifted on the bed, pulling Batman to him by the hip and slowly sliding his mouth over Batman’s dick, humming quietly and looking up at him as he took it to the hilt.

Batman echoed Joker’s hum, lowering his hand to knit his fingers into Joker’s hair, letting Joker move his mouth on him. He gripped his hair softly as Joker began to bob his head faster.

“That feels good,” he growled softly, watching intently, “Looks so good…”

Joker smiled around him, pulling off a little and licking at the head of his cock, looking up at him. He moved his hand to grasp his base, pumping his dick fast as he worked the tip.

Batman’s breath hitched slightly, his grip tightening in Joker’s hair, still transfixed on Joker. He thrust forward involuntarily, “Fuck,” he groaned, close to finishing.

Joker hummed again, sinking his mouth back down the shaft, a look of longing in his eyes as he stared up at Batman. The expression alone would have been enough to get him off.

Batman let out a loud moan, thrusting forward again as he came hard. Joker shuddered beneath him, lapping up the come as it spilled from him.

“Has anyone ever told you your dick tastes amazing?” Joker asked as he pulled away, leaning back on the bed.

“I believe you have,” Batman answered, sitting back on the bed and lying next to Joker, pulling him close, “It’s the bodywash I use.”

Joker nodded, he closed his eyes and nuzzled into Batman’s chest. “Bats, I’m so glad you came back,” he confessed, his voice almost a whisper. “You had me worried for a second.”

Batman ran his fingers through Joker’s hair again, smoothing out the mess he’d made of it. “If you thought it would go bad why did you tell me?”

Joker shrugged, holding Batman tight, as if he thought telling the truth might chase him away again. “I dunno,” he said flippantly, “I guess I wanted you to… be honest, or something. I’d had enough of pretending.”

He frowned, looking up at Batman with a slightly more serious look on his face, “I can’t believe you pretended to be a hooker. How many levels of denial deep are you?” He flicked Batman’s chest, “Stupid boy…”

“Sex worker,” Batman corrected him, “Hooker is offensive.”

Joker rolled his eyes, “I suppose _you’d_ know wouldn’t you.”

Batman shook his head, defeated, “I don’t know why I thought it was better. I thought that if I came clean we’d go back to fighting. I prefer this.”

Joker smirked, “You know it wouldn’t be a snap change. I’m not totally irrational.” He leaned up to give Batman a kiss, “I prefer this too, by the way.” He sighed as he settled back at Batman’s side. “I really am tapped out now.”

“Good,” Batman replied. He paused awkwardly for a moment, he wasn’t sure if that was Joker’s way of telling him to leave, or if he still wanted time with him.

Joker nodded, and nestled in close to Batman, his breath turning shallow. Batman gathered from this that Joker didn’t want him going anywhere.

“Bats,” Joker said sleepily.

“Yes, Joker?” Batman replied, running a hand gently over Joker’s side, making himself more comfortable.

“I want to make this work.”

Batman’s gut clenched slightly as Joker spoke, his mind beginning to race again, there was an implication there that if this went wrong it would be Batman’s fault. He pushed the thoughts away, and decided to take what Joker said at face value. He wanted to try and get better, he wanted them to be together, that was all it meant.

“I want that too,” he reassured him.


	17. Chapter 17

Batman finally pulled himself away from Joker’s side at a little after 6am. He had managed to get a little sleep, but every time Joker shifted in his sleep Batman woke with a start, his subconscious seemed to be afraid that he’d wake up with a knife in his chest, although he knew that probably wouldn’t happen.

He knew that once he got home he would be buried in questions by Dick about things like who his secret connection was, what their relationship was exactly, how long it’d been going on, and a mound of other questions he didn’t want to answer.

He decided that rather than avoiding Dick all together he’d just be as truthful as he was comfortable being. He was taking Dick’s advice about being honest to heart, if it backfired at least he had someone to blame.

He wouldn’t tell Dick it was Joker, though. He wasn’t sure how Dick’d react, and he wasn’t ready to deal with the mess it might cause.

“Hey,” Dick called playfully as Bruce walked into the kitchen, already changed out of his Batman costume, already showered, ready for the day.

“Hey,” Batman said back, not reciprocating the happy tone, walking to the cupboard and pulling out a protein bar, his breakfast.

“Sleep well?” Dick pried, smiling widely.

Bruce shook his head. “I’m not really used to not sleeping alone.”

“Oh,” Alfred’s voice came from the doorway, making Bruce jump. “I didn’t realise you’d told Master Dick about the person you were seeing…”

“Yeah?” Dick informed him, “I know everything. Other than the guy’s name, of course,” he rolled his eyes.

Bruce frowned, “For safety reasons I’m not going to tell anyone his real name.”

Dick crossed his arms, an eyebrow raised judgingly.

“I’ll answer any other questions you have about him, to the best of my ability,” Bruce said, taking a bite of his food. “You have 5 minutes to get it all out of your system.”

“How long have you been having sex?” Dick asked immediately.

“Master Dick!” Alfred protested.

Bruce let out a soft huff, “About two months.”

“What?” Dick said, aghast, “Two months, and I only found out like yesterday?” he scoffed, “How long have you known him?”

Bruce shook his head, unsure, “A long time.”

“How long exactly?” Dick asked, frowning.

“I’m not sure exactly how long I’ve known him.”

Dick’s frown deepened, “I don’t believe that for a second.”

Bruce let out a sigh, “I’m not comfortable answering,” he stated sternly.

Dick’s frown suddenly flipped to a smile, “Oh my god, did you only meet him two months ago? Is this like a whirlwind romance? That is so fucking sweet I think I might throw up.”

Alfred broke his silence, “I first heard about him two months ago.”

Dick laughed loudly. “Ok, ok. Is he the first guy you’ve dated?”

“I said I’ll answer questions about him,” Bruce said, an impatient tone to his voice, “I’m not answering questions about my dating history.”

Dick nodded, able to tell Bruce was getting annoyed. “Ok, ok. So, are you two like, dating? You said he’s a criminal, do you think he’ll reform?”

Alfred gasped, “He’s a criminal? Sir, I never would have expected you to…” his sentence petered out.

Bruce ignored Alfred’s protests. “I don’t know if we’re dating, I don’t know if he’ll reform. He’s said he’ll try. But he doesn’t want to go to Blackgate or Arkham.”

Dick huffed, rolling his eyes, “So he wants to get better, but he doesn’t want to go to the places which are there to help him get better, sure, ok.”

Bruce felt himself frown, remembering how passionately Joker had talked about his dislike of Arkham. “I’ve been thinking about it,” he said slowly, “I’m not sure if Arkham helps people as much as we assume. Surely if it was as good as we thought we’d see more reformed criminals than reoffending ones.”

Dick’s face turned blank, he crossed his arms and looked Bruce up and down, “Ok.” He shook his head, “I mean, I get that, I agree, I guess? But, sending someone to Arkham is usually the first thing on your list.”

“As I said, I’ve been thinking about it recently. I think I was wrong.”

Dick let out a huffed chuckle, “Ok, and is it coincidental that you’ve started thinking about it whilst having sex with a criminal? Or are the two things linked?” he shook his head, “Maybe we should have gotten you to boink a bad guy earlier. Could have saved you 18 years of shit.”

“Don’t be so disrespectful, Master Dick,” Alfred commented, quietly. He looked at Bruce, “Sir, I must say, I certainly didn’t see any of this coming.”

“When can we meet him?” Dick asked, the cheery tone back in his voice. “And what should we call him..? How do we refer to him, I mean? ‘The criminal you’re screwing’ doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue.”

“Call him, uh…” Bruce’s eyes dropped to the floor as he thought. When Joker had first been taken to Arkham he’d been referred to as ‘John Doe’, he couldn’t think of any other name Joker might accept. “Just call him John.” He paused for a moment, “And you won’t be meeting him any time soon. Please don’t try to find out who he is. As I said, it’s for safety reasons.”

Dick frowned, concerned, “You’re worried that whoever he works for might do something to him?”

Bruce huffed, a tight feeling coming to his throat and his gut. “I can’t answer that,” he said shortly.

Dick nodded, “Ok. I won’t pry, then.”

Bruce let out a breath of relief, “Thankyou. Any other questions?”

Dick smirked, “Probably, I’m too shocked to think of them right now though.”

Alfred piped up, “Why did you lie to me about who you were seeing, Master Bruce?” he asked, sounding almost sad, as if Bruce had betrayed him somehow.

Bruce’s face fell slightly, “I wasn’t sure how long it’d last, and I wasn’t sure how you’d react. I’m sorry, Alfred.”

“It’s quite alright, Master Bruce,” Alfred said, disappointment still in his voice. “I’m glad you’re at a point where you feel comfortable telling us.”

“Thankyou, Alfred,” Bruce said softly, before turning his attention to Dick. “Have you heard anything about Twoface or Riddler?”

Dick shook his head, the look on his face turning a little more serious. “Unfortunately not. I’ve got a few feelers out. I was kind of hoping you could pull more info from your contact.”

Bruce shrugged, “I don’t know, I don’t want to push him too much too fast, he’ll think that’s all I’m interested in.”

Dick let out a soft chuckle, stifling his smile.

“What?” Bruce said, crossing his arms and frowning.

“It’s so cute,” Dick said with a shake of his head. “You really like this guy.”

Bruce huffed, “I just don’t want to scare him off.”

Dick’s smile widened, “I have never seen you smitten with someone before.”

“Dick,” Bruce said sternly, “Stop it.”

“Ok, ok,” Dick said, raising his hand slightly. The smile faded from his face, “I notice Damian isn’t here for this announcement. I take it we’re not to tell him?”

Bruce nodded in confirmation, “Please. The last thing I need right now is his judgement, I’m already second guessing myself.”

Alfred shook his head, “We won’t tell him, Master Bruce. You’ve always had very good judgment. If you feel that you’re doing the right thing you shouldn’t second guess yourself.”

Bruce nodded, “I think I’m doing the right thing.” He let out a soft breath, “Thankyou, Alfred, Dick, for being so understanding.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Dick smiled. “I certainly can’t judge. And even if I could I wouldn’t.”

“Thankyou,” Bruce said again.

“Plans for today, sir?” Alfred asked as he put a couple of bowls in the dishwasher.

Bruce nodded, “Not really, I do want to look into Arkham’s records a little, but that’s not a priority.”

“Then might I suggest you pop in on the impromptu charity lunch Commissioner Gordon is holding to help repair the train station.”

Bruce frowned, “Alfred, why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“You seemed so caught up with your new… friend. I thought if you didn’t go we’d make an anonymous donation.”

Dick let out a soft breath, thinking, “Perhaps Twoface and Riddler assumed there’d be a charity event and that’s why they bombed the station? To get a bunch of rich people to congregate at a time and place that suited them?”

Bruce nodded, “That’s plausible, it seems a little basic for them, but I wouldn’t put it past them,” he turned to Alfred, “I’ll go.”

Alfred paused, “As who, exactly..?”

“Bruce Wayne, but I’ll be prepared. I’m going to try and get some more sleep before I leave.” He threw the wrapper for his protein bar in the trash as Alfred and Dick went back to their business. He left the room and headed towards his bedroom, turning his attention to his phone. He got up Joker’s number.

Batman:  
I told Nightwing your name is John.

Joker:  
Now that’s a throwback! No one’s called me John in a decade.  
Too ordinary for me.

Batman:   
I think it suits you.

Joker:  
How sweet…  
Is that my name in your phone?

Bruce changed the name, taking a screenshot before texting back.

Batman:  
It is now [image attached]

Joker responded a moment later, sending a picture of Batman’s contact name, which was a string of emojis, a mixture of bats and eggplants.

Bruce let out a soft laugh. He went back into his contacts to add an eggplant to the end of John’s name, taking another screenshot and sending it back to him.

Joker replied seconds later.

Joker:  
Saucy!! ;P

As they texted back and forth Bruce found himself smiling, an oddly genuine smile. Dick was right, he really did like Joker. As long as their connection was disconnected from their history. As long as things continued like this he could see things going well. He tried not to think about what might happen if something went wrong.

He undressed and lay down in bed, trying to drift off, but he kept getting the urge to check his phone, to see if Joker had sent another message.

Maybe he was nervous about what might happen at the charity lunch, but he didn’t think that was the case.

After a few minutes Joker texted him again.

Joker:  
I know it’s only been a couple of hours, but I miss you?!

Bruce chuckled and texted back.

Batman:  
I miss you too. I’m trying to sleep.

Joker:   
At 8am??Wow you really are a bat!  
Want me to call? Maybe I can help you drift off? C;

Bruce smiled to himself. That did sound appealing, but he was too physically worn out from their night together.

Joker:  
Or I could just send a picture and you could deal with yourself?  
I know you love watching me use my toys.

Bruce bit his lip.

Batman:  
That does sound good, but I think I’m too tired from last night.

Before he could send the message Joker had sent over a slew of images and gifs. He felt an involuntary moan leave his lips at the sight of them.

Batman:  
You look good in those.

Joker:  
Thankyou. They’re old ones, I’m too tired to do anything rn too.

Bruce frowned.

Batman:  
rn?

Joker:  
… Seriously? Rn=right now. I thought you were younger than me how do you not know text speak?   
You have children too and I know more text speak than you wtf?  
WTF MEANS WHAT THE FUCK BEFORE YOU ASK THAT TOO!

Bruce laughed softly.

Batman:  
I know what wtf means.

Bruce let out a soft sigh, pulling the covers further over himself, smiling at the text on his phone screen.

Batman:  
I need to go to sleep.

Joker:  
Ok you old man.  
Hot old man.  
I love you.  
Sleep well.

Bruce watched as his messages came through in quick succession, feeling sleep begin to take him.

Batman:  
You too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm channeling my inability to pay my rent into this story lol


	18. Chapter 18

Batman let out a huff, the charity event hadn’t been targeted and he’d wasted most of his day hobnobbing with socialites rather than doing what he’d planned, by the time he’d gotten home it was late, so he’d decided to push his research to tomorrow and go out on patrol.

It was, again, very quiet. Suspiciously so.

He decided, against his better judgment, to message Joker. He didn’t want to push him, however he couldn’t help feeling that there was an explanation for the recent stillness in criminal activity, and his curious nature got the better of him.

Batman:  
Is anything big happening?

After a couple of minutes Joker hadn’t replied, Batman’s stomach twisted at the lack of response, usually he had a reply in a matter of seconds. Maybe something big was happening? Something that the Joker was involved with. Maybe Joker had been intentionally distracting him this whole time.

He closed his eyes. He had to stop being so paranoid.

His phone buzzed in his hand.

Joker:  
Nah, just having a girls night with Harley.

Batman frowned. He’d thought Harley was still in Arkham.

He hadn’t even realised they were on speaking terms.

His phone buzzed again as Joker sent a selfie of him and Harley in the hotel room, wearing face masks, both of them sticking their tongues out, holding cocktails.

Batman shook his head. After a moment he paused.

Batman:   
Does she know about me?

Joker:  
The hooker who’s stolen my heart? Yes.  
She’s jealous <3

Batman let out a soft huff. He had gotten himself worried over nothing. He sent a message to confirm.

Batman:  
So there’s nothing big happening tonight that I should know about?

Joker:  
If there were I wouldn’t be sitting around getting plastered.

Batman let out a huff, shaking his head. He jumped as Nightwing’s voice came from behind him.

“On your phone?” he said in a tone of mocked disappointment. “It better have been something important.”

Batman frowned weakly, “I was checking in with… John to see if he knew why it’s been so quiet lately.”

“And did he?” Nightwing asked, hopeful.

Batman shook his head, “No. He said that he’s sitting about with his friends, drinking.”

Nightwing huffed, “Fuck, I wish that was me.” He plopped down at Batman’s side. “I’d kill for a drink. You know what I really want is a mojito.”

“A mojito..?” Batman smirked.

“Yeah, god, my mouth’s watering just thinking of it.”

Batman nodded, the craving for a drink coming to him now too. “Maybe later, if it stays quiet.”

“It’s been quiet since the explosion, Batman, if anything was going to happen tonight it would have happened when the fundraiser was going on.” Nightwing laid back on the roof, tucking his arms under his head.

“I agree,” Batman said, dejected. As good as it was that it’d been quiet while he and Joker had been meeting up it was putting him on edge, it was like the calm before a storm. He shook his head, “I might go back to the cave, I have some research I want to do, and I need to keep searching for Riddler’s and Twoface’s new hideout.”

Nightwing nodded lazily, “Sure, you go ahead. Tell John I said hi.”

Batman frowned, “I’m going to the cave, I’m not blowing you off to go and see John.”

Nightwing blew a raspberry, “Sure, that’s totally not a lie. Go, have fun, suck a dick or whatever.”

“It’s not a lie,” Batman said sternly. “I’m not the type of person to do that, Nightwing.”

Nightwing chuckled weakly, amused at how quickly he got a rise from Batman. “Ok, ok. You wouldn’t lie about where you were in case something happened. I know that. I didn’t mean to question your honour, I was just making a joke.”

Batman let out a weak huff and got up to walk away.

The idea of leaving early and going to see Joker had occurred to him, but that was before he’d found out that Harley was there, and he wouldn’t have done it if there was anything more important that needed doing, such as researching Arkham and finding Riddler’s and Twoface’s new hideout.

Once he was back at the cave, a mocha coffee in hand, sat in front of the computer with his documents all set up, he decided to let himself check his phone again. Just a quick look to see if he had any messages, he wouldn’t reply to them unless they were urgent.

He had a few messages from Joker. Drunk texts.

Joker:  
Im thinking about you xx  
do you like watching romcoms?  
We should watch one together  
HEY! Harley saiid that Oam said that Edward asked her for suuplied!  
Supplied*  
you know what I mean.  
I like Edward but hes so skinny he needs to eat a Hamburger.

Batman’s eyes widened a little, he texted back immediately.

Batman:  
What supplies did he need?

He stared at his phone, waiting for a reply. He had a weight in his stomach asking Joker for information, but he wasn’t sure why. True he didn’t want to use Joker for information, but he was offering, that shouldn’t make him feel bad.

Joker:  
Harley said pam said ed didn’t reel her  
tell*

Batman swore under his breath, shaking his head. He grit his teeth as he texted Joker again.

Batman:  
Does Harley know where Riddler’s hiding?

After a moment Joker messaged back.

Joker:  
She says she doesn’t know and if she did she wouldn’t tell me.  
I told her it as important.  
Shes pissing me off >:C

Batman’s gut clenched slightly. He didn’t want Joker getting annoyed at Harley and doing something he’d regret.

Batman:  
That’s ok, thankyou for asking.  
Don’t do anything to try and make her tell you. I don’t want you doing anything to hurt her on my behalf.

Joker:  
She said she doesn’t know, I’m not going too beat a dead horse.

Batman’s gut clenched again. He didn’t trust Joker not to hurt her. That was why he’d felt uncomfortable asking for information. He may have put Harley in unnecessary danger by asking.

He swore to himself again.

“Sir?” Alfred’s voice came from behind him, making him jump.

“Is something wrong?”

Batman shook his head. “No, Alfred, it’s fine,” he lied. His heart was pumping fast at the thought of what Joker could have done.

If he hadn’t been in a good mood he might have hurt her.

Batman didn’t know for sure that he hadn’t.

“Are you sure, sir? You look a little out of sorts.” Slowly Alfred approached the console, looking Batman up and down, his eyes flit to the cup on the table. “Have you had too much coffee, perhaps? You know you get paranoid if you have too much coffee and too little sleep.”

“Paranoid?” Batman said softly.

He nodded, letting out a breath. Maybe that was it. Joker hadn’t done anything to hurt Harley, he was just letting his paranoia get the best of him, and the coffee was making it worse.

“Do you need some water, sir, perhaps something to eat?” Alfred asked, concerned.

Batman paused and nodded, “Water would probably be good, Thankyou, Alfred.”

Alfred nodded and left the room. Batman turned his eyes back to his phone, forcing himself to calm down.

He decided to message Joker again, just to put himself at ease.

Batman:  
Just to confirm, you won’t hurt Harley or do anything to get her to give you information.

Joker text back instantly.

Joker:  
Of course not, it would ruin our night.  
We’re going to get nachos

Batman let out a slow breath. He had to stop letting his mind get the better of him. Joker had been unpredictable in the past, and still was, but he couldn’t assume that he was going to do harm, he couldn’t. The thoughts would fester in his head like they often had before and he’d end up doing something he’d regret. It’d happened before.

He clicked his com, calling Nightwing.

“Hey Bats, found something?” Nightwing’s voice chimed through.

“No,” Batman said bluntly. “Is it still quiet?”

“Yep,” Nightwing said, sighing deeply.

“Want to get that drink?” Batman asked.

Nightwing chuckled, “Really?” he said, surprised. “You’re telling me to cut patrol short to go get drunk?”

“Yes,” Batman confirmed. “I have something I need to talk about, and I don’t think I can do it sober.”

“Ok,” Nightwing said, his smile obvious in his voice. “I know the perfect place, it’s called Noir Café?”

“I’ve heard of it.”

“Don’t come as Batman.”

Batman nodded, “Ok, I’ll be there soon.”

He got to his feet and went to change.

Noir Café had once been a rather fancy café that sold overpriced sandwiches and coffee, the owner had been arrested for money laundering and the place had been put up for auction, and then turned into a bar, but the name had stuck.

Bruce had heard Dick mention it once or twice before.

Walking in it didn’t seem like a bad place, very neatly and colourfully decorated. Bruce walked up to the bar to order.

“Hey,” the barman said with a smile, pointing up at him, “Bruce Wayne?”

Bruce nodded, forcing a smile.

“I didn’t think I’d ever see you in person,” the barman said, letting out a soft, nervous laugh, “Let alone in a place like this. What’ll you have?”

Bruce shrugged, “Something that’ll get me drunk very fast, thankyou.”

The barman chuckled again and nodded, pulling out a couple of bottles from behind the bar. He looked back at Bruce, “Do you have a preference?” he asked, gesturing to the glasses behind him.

As Bruce looked at the glasses he realised what the bartender had meant when he’d said ‘in a place like this’.

Each row of glasses had a different set of colours printed on them, in the style of a flag.

Bruce felt a weak blush come to his face, he hadn’t expected Dick to invite him out to a gay bar.

“Second row,” Bruce informed him.

The bartender nodded and picked out a pint glass decorated with pink purple and blue, and poured a drink into it.

“If you don’t like it, tough,” the bartender said with a smirk as he put the drink on the bar. “You know your kid comes in here all the time.”

Bruce nodded, handing over some cash to pay for the drink, “Yeah, I’m meant to be meeting him.”

“Oh, ok” the barman said, nodding. “That explains why you’re here.”

Bruce felt a soft frown come to his face, “Well, no, I’m here to get drunk.”

The barman chuckled, “You could go to any bar to get drunk. No offence, but from what I know of you you don’t seem like the sort of person to come to _this kind_  of bar, at this time of night.”

“You mean a gay bar?” Bruce asked. He let out a huff, downing half of his drink. “I belong here as much as anyone else here.”

The bartender shrugged, raising a hand defensively, “… You just don’t seem like the kind of person to go looking for a hook-up, that’s all.”

Bruce’s face softened, he gulped down the rest of his drink and put the glass down. “I’m not. Not anymore, at least.”

The barman nodded, taking the glass and pouring out another drink. “Yeah, most people settle down in that regard as they get older. Start looking for ‘the one’. You’re not going to find the one at 2am in a bar.”

Bruce nodded and began on his second drink.

“Sorry if I’m talking too much,” the barman said, “I get so bored on slow nights like this, I was thinking of closing up early before you came in.”

“Oh,” Bruce said, stilling slightly, “Sorry.”

“No, it’s ok,” The barman said, smiling, “I get to meet a celebrity, so I’m happy.” He paused, “Uh, I’m John, by the way, I own the place.”

Bruce felt his heart skip at the name, “Oh,” he said stiffly, “It’s nice to meet you, John.”

John looked him up and down, obviously he’d noticed Bruce’s reaction. “Sorry have I made you feel awkward?”

Bruce shook his head, “No, it’s, uh,” he shook his head again, “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” He looked over his shoulder, wondering why Dick was taking so long. Perhaps he suspected that the bartender was the person Bruce was seeing and was trying to get them to spend time together, or perhaps he knew the coincidence would shake Bruce enough to get him to talk.

“No, it’s ok,” John assured him, “Whatever’s bugging you I’m here to hear it, it’s one of the best things about this line of work.”

Bruce let out a soft breath, “It’s nothing,” he repeated, “But the person I’m currently seeing is also… named John.”

John smiled widely, “Oh really? What a fun coincidence. Is he as handsome as me too?” he joked.

Bruce shrugged, finishing his third drink, “He’s… He’s not as traditionally handsome,” a weak smile came to his face, “But I like how he looks.”

“Well, that’s what’s important,” John nodded. “And that he treats you well too, obviously.”

Bruce nodded, “He…” he paused, maybe it wasn’t wise to open up about everything to a stranger… but surely if Dick trusted him enough to point Bruce in his direction he couldn’t be too bad. “He dotes on me more than anyone else I’ve been with has, it’s…” he sighed softly.

“It sounds lovely,” John said wistfully. “It’s so hard to find someone who actually cares about you, especially as you get older-“ he cut himself off, “-Not that you’re old, I uh,” he cleared his throat awkwardly.

Bruce chuckled, “It’s ok. He’s actually older than me, maybe that’s-“

He cut himself off as the door behind him opened, and Dick walked in.

**Author's Note:**

> Its been a while since I wrote this kinda thing. I enjoyed it.


End file.
